http://assistsocialmedia.com/super-simple-how-increase-blog-traffic How to get more traffic to your blog How one new site got an Alexa score of less than 100 in 3 months.. Simple She says !
How to get more traffic to your blog
August 24, 2012
Simply Solo Spotlight: Just Like My Favorite Pair of Panties (via Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey)
September 14, 2011
This is a delightful post and one I dare say you don’t want to miss out on reading my friends. Apply it to all areas of your life.
via Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey
Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.
I can’t for the life of me get my WordPress self hosted account to work like I want. If you have a clue leave me a message 😦
Balance In All Things ~ Wordless Wednesday
September 7, 2011
Balance In All Things
Don't Stop Believing~Seek and Ye Shall Find.
September 5, 2011
I’m taking a short cut and reposting on of my favorite articles from my first blog attempt. As I have worked with singles for the past decade I’ve noticed how bitterness about a failed relationship can hold people in a state of limbo where they just can’t begin a new with someone else. They believe that they are destined to never find a good person and this belief is a self fulfilling prophesy. They make the same bad choices again and again. They enter a relationship with the same bad attitude; believing it will fail or that there is just no such things as a good man or woman. I honestly think most of the trouble people have with relationships start with their attitude before they ever even get in.
Ever wished you could 
find the perfect man ? Someone who wanted to fulfill your ever wish or dream. A prince of a man who wanted nothing more than to make you happy. Are you so jaded after dating for so many years or after a nasty break-up that you doubt that such a man exists. Have you ever stopped to think that he maybe like Santa Claus in a way. You stop believing in the magic so he no longer exists. You stopped writing to him and searching for him in the sky on Christmas Eve. Maybe you can’t find him because you no longer believe he is out there.
Bitterness can blind you if you let it . It can make you lose the ability to see someone delightful because you are too busy looking for the flaws. Disillusionment can turn you into an angry old spinster of a character. Rather certain Mr Right would be frightened off by her too. Maybe Mr Wonderful needs you to sit in his lap and tell him what it is you want and believe that he wants you to have it. You may wake up and find everything you had wished for right before your eyes. If you can still believe that Mr Right exists like you believed that Santa Claus did when you were a child.
“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” – Erich Fromm (1900-1980)
I’m taking a short cut and reposting on of my favorite articles from my first blog attempt. As I have worked with singles for the past decade I’ve noticed how bitterness about a failed relationship can hold people in a state of limbo where they just can’t begin a new with someone else. They believe that they are destined to never find a good person and this belief is a self fulfilling prophesy. They make the same bad choices again and again. They enter a relationship with the same bad attitude; believing it will fail or that there is just no such things as a good man or woman. I honestly think most of the trouble people have with relationships start with their attitude before they ever even get in.
Ever wished you could find the perfect man ? Someone who wanted to fulfill your ever wish or dream. A prince of a man who wanted nothing more than to make you happy. Are you so jaded after dating for so many years or after a nasty break-up that you doubt that such a man exists. Have you ever stopped to think that he maybe like Santa Claus in a way. You stop believing in the magic so he no longer exists. You stopped writing to him and searching for him in the sky on Christmas Eve. Maybe you can’t find him because you no longer believe he is out there.
Bitterness can blind you if you let it . It can make you lose the ability to see someone delightful because you are too busy looking for the flaws. Disillusionment can turn you into an angry old spinster of a character. Rather certain Mr Right would be frightened off by her too. Maybe Mr Wonderful needs you to sit in his lap and tell him what it is you want and believe that he wants you to have it. You may wake up and find everything you had wished for right before your eyes. If you can still believe that Mr Right exists like you believed that Santa Claus did when you were a child.
“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” – Erich Fromm (1900-1980)
I Wanna know What Love Is~
September 2, 2011
How do you know when It’s real love? Can you really tell if someone is the one? What is the formula to measure a suitor by to be certain that it is more than physical attraction or smoke and mirrors.
I define true love and a person worthy of real love as a plus in one’s life. This person adds value and happiness to you, even after the first stage of hearts and flowers pass and you really know who they are, what they want out of life, and they still have your admiration. There is nothing selfish about true love. You want nothing but the best for that person. You put their needs and happiness above your own. I only realized what true love was the day I held my new-born child in my arms. I also knew how very much I was loved by my parents and God at the moment. True love puts self last and is filled with joy from the happiness of their beloved. Unlike romantic love our children don’t have to earn or deserve this love.
Love that is real and will last is love and devotion that is deserved and earned. You can love someone who does not deserve that love and trust. All of us have seen relationships like that. Love is a feeling of devotion and attraction. To act upon this feeling is a choice that we all have. love that is real and worth it adds more joy and happiness than sorrow. Simple as that.
Love is work. To be in a loving and productive relationship will take work, effort, and investment of time. The pay off will be a relationship that is cherished and adds value to your life. You want to be the best person you can be thanks to this love. You can know someone is truly in love with you when they live their life for you and your happiness too. No one is ever this self less all the time . A good guide for measuring a relationship is am I happy with this person and do I make this person happy? Simple when you think about it that way.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Back in The Saddle ~40 and Single Again
September 1, 2011
I would like to introduce you to a new Blog that I’ve read for a while now. I’ve read the post from this talented writer and watched her slowly turn the corner from bitter to hopeful. This post is dedicated to the men and women who find themselves starting over at 40, single, and wondering if things will ever be okay again.
witnessing the shift
I am in a completely different place than I’ve ever been before: I feel empowered, strong and clear in a way that I probably haven’t ever before in my life.
Let me explain…
I’ve been using creative visualization, conscious intent, meditation and gratitude to heal my heart, transform my energy and get my head on straight. And, despite my deep desire for partnership, I am finally un-stuck to the outcome. In other words, I’m detached. I’ve set my intent, asked the universe to deliver and let go of the need to control how things manifest.
As it relates to dating, here’s how this shift has affected my mindset:
- I’ve started to enjoy dating. I go out to meet people and practice leaning back in to my feminine energy. I know that the universe has a spectacular sense of humor, so I just open myself to where the experience might go. I’m laughing about that guy I’ve seen twice who keeps finding ways to tell me that there’s no chance for romance between us…but then wants to see me again. Whatever!
- I trust that I’ve attracted people into my life for a reason. I stay attuned to whatever that lesson or gift might be.
- I may offer or suggest, but I won’t chase. I may lead or invite, but I don’t make the first move. I let him manage the accelerator; I’ll be ready to brake, if necessary.
- I shrug off rejection. His loss. He’s doing me a favor by opting out early. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone I had to convince to like me. And I’ll take whatever gift or lesson I might have learned from the experience. As a good friend wisely said, “When a woman chases men, she always catches the weak ones first.”
- I enter situations with no expectations. I’d rather enjoy the surprise. Besides, if a man thinks he has nothing to offer me…well, then, he clearly doesn’t.
- I’m flirting with all kinds of men and women in all kinds of situations. I like to flirt; I feel good, and it makes others feel good. It keeps me in touch with my pleasure center.
- I say “yes” more often. I ask for help and accept it. I’m open to support.
- I’m saying “no” to distractions to what I want. As much as my 40-year-old libido would love some satisfaction, I’m just not interested without the rewards of emotional intimacy. I’m holding out for a loving relationship.
- That said, I’m done looking for love. Instead, I’ve decided to BE love! That way, my equal can find me.
- I know the right man for me will be strong, masculine and forgiving. And, most of all, he will demonstrate through action that he truly and deeply wants to make me happy.
- I am deeply grateful for all the masculine attention I receive. It’s wonderful to notice others appreciating me!
In summary, my boundaries are healthier than ever, I have greater clarity and I’m genuinely happy in my life. I’m pleased with the choices I’m making and the direction I’m going. Even though I haven’t manifested that amazing life partner, I’m relaxed and peaceful about it. He’s coming to me — I can feel it!
about failedatforty
failedatforty is a divorced and dating homeowner, breadwinner and single mother in the midwest. She divorced, turned 40 and quit her corporate job all within a 10-month stretch. Her blog recounts a journey of healing, self-help and starting to date again with poignancy, introspection and wit. Follow her at www.failedatforty.com or on Twitter, @failedatforty.
This post was originally posted on failed at forty Please drop by and cheer her on.
Thanks @failedatforty for sharing you trials and stories with us. I’m over here at DatingDivaSites.com cheering you on!
Liz Maness
I Broke up With my BBF and After 3 months I Don't See Why I ever befriended Them~ Wordless Wednesday
August 30, 2011
I Broke up With my BBF and After 3 months I Don’t See Why I ever befriended Them~ Wordless Wednesday
Is It safe over 40? Shocking dating survey results
August 27, 2011
I just read an article in the Herald Sun and it’s the second one i have read saying adults over 40 are more likely to have unprotected sex,especially WOMEN. What?!!! Are you kidding me? Adults contracting STDs is on the rise for those over 40 as well. Well Duh!!! I am shocked. During the 80’s that lovely thing called HIV reared its ugly head and scared most people into using condoms. People in their 40s were young adults then so I can’t believe they are over that fear.WOW! There are WAY worse things than getting pregnant associated with unprotected sex. Just because you aren’t able to become pregnant does not mean you can’t contract a dreadful disease. My advice is the same for you as for my children,” Wait til you have a ring. If you can’t wait then protect yourself from your partner and their past.” It is just that simple. If you aren’t going to be wise and wait then at least be smart people.
Are older women too shy to tell a man no, unless he has protection? Are they thinking that it will spoil the moment? Too embarrassed? I bet it would be more humiliating getting treated for an STD, not to mention the damage could be permanent, even life threatening! Maybe it would spoil the moment? Not nearly as much as saying not tonight sweetie, I have a herpes flare up. Ouch!!! Or explaining to your partner that you have herpes and umm is he still interested in having a sexual relationship? I’m guessing they would pass. Those things would be way more of a mood killer and a turn off than saying ,”Do You have protection?” I’m so disappointed.
If you are going to date and be sexually active you have to be smart about it. UNPROTECTED sex with a stranger is dumb and dangerous. Yet those older and wiser adults are doing it at an alarming rate according to this study. The result of which is an epidemic of STD reports for the over 40 crowd with women being affected the most. Don’t forget that one of the causes of cervical cancer is now known to be caused by a virus called HPV which is sexually transmitted.
I’m climbing down from my soapbox but stories like these are troubling to me to say the least. I want to know why in the world this is taking place ladies and I want changes. Let’s get our act together and act like grown ups. Is 40 the new 20? Oh, a new article about that one will be coming soon.
Anything worth having is worth the wait.
If you would like to read the article please go to the Herald Sun Older Women Shunning Safe Sex
Over 40 and getting better all the time!!
August 24, 2011
Today is my birthday!!! I’m over 40 and getting better every day. since it’s my birthday I’m reposting my favorite post about women over 40. That’s right I’m posting it again because I love this story about this 66 year old that beat out all the other women in L.A. to be voted body of the year!!! Happy birthday to me and a toast to 40 plus women everywhere! It just keeps getting better!
Guest Post From Bridgette Raes
Every morning I do a quick scan of the news in fashion via Google. It’s often how I pick up a good story worth mentioning on this blog. I find this helpful if I’m either rushed for time or out of ideas of something to post. Today, I actually found two articles so diametrically opposed that I needed to mention both of them.
Helen Mirren voted ‘Body of the Year’
First, according to a poll by People Helen Mirren has been voted ‘Body of the Year’ beating out celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton. How freakin’ cool is that? I always say that when I am a lady of age and wisdom I want to be Helen Mirren.
I think this is also awesome because it shows that the public is looking at sexy and beautiful in different ways and that it exceeds it being solely about how slim, trim, toned and young you are. Being sexy or hot or attractive is the total package of inner and outer qualities and, I agree with the poll, Helen Mirren’s got it!
Now…on to other news.
After reading that article that gave me a feeling of promise and hope, that society is finally starting to look past youth, perfection and dewy skin as the standard of beauty, I also read a in the NYPost about Teen Queens and how more designers are using 13-year old stars for their ad campaigns. (Snore…again?)
Designers and labels like Marc Jacobs, Miu Miu are utilizing the youth and star power of actresses like Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) along with sisters Dakota and Elle Fanning for their provocative and suggestive ads. I know, this is hardly a new approach (Hello Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein in the 80′s) but it always irks me and makes me uncomfortable all at the same time, but not for a reason you might think.
Dakota Fanning, 17, in Marc Jacobs’ perfume ad
This has undoubtedly caused a bit of a controversy and some are saying that the ads for fall look more like back-to-school catalogs regardless of the fact that there have been quite a few models who started their career at the same age.
Hailee Steinfeld, 14 in Miu Miu looks like she is wearing her mother’s clothing
While some have argued over the poor judgment in the use of young girls in these ads, I got a kick out of Hailee Steinfeld’s (currently the model for Miu Miu) comment in the article:
“The best part about [the Miu Miu] collection . . . is the fact that it’s so sophisticated — it’s timeless,” she said. “For younger girls like me, it works. It feels appropriate.”
Really Hailee? Timeless? What the heck do you know about timeless?
And, how many of you were shopping for Miu Miu, or Miu Miu level clothing, at 14 years old?
I didn’t think so.
In the NYPost article it, of course, elaborates on the sexualization of young girls and the fact that use of teenagers “hold up adolescent bodies as ideals of womanhood.” Both valid and important points, that we’ve heard oodles of time, but here is my gripe:
Most women really don’t come into their own until they hit their mid-thirties. Some of you younger readers may argue with me and I understand, I would have argued the same point when I was younger, but trust me (not to sound patronizing) one day you will get it. And, admittedly, one day, when I’m rounding the corner to my 50′s and beyond, after I develop even greater wisdom and comfort with myself, I will probably laugh at bit by how much I think I claim to know about myself at the age I am now. Bottom line, with age comes greater wisdom, greater comfort with ourselves and these ads using children are completely dismissive towards that fact. Who in their prime years yearn to be 13, 15 or 17 again? I sure don’t…not even if you handed me a suitcase of money as a trade. I wouldn’t trade a better bottom, perkier boobs or un-crinkled skin around my eyes for all the wisdom and comfort that the years since have offered me. Regardless of the fact that I’m not as comfortable in a bikini or a short skirt as I was at 17, I still feel a lot sexier and comfortable as a woman now than I did back back then. There is just something so sexy about a woman who is comfortable in her body and knows who she is. These juvenile ads miss that point and are missing out on the ability to capitalize on that. Imagine more advertisements celebrated the gorgeousness that comes with just coming into your own as a woman? God, they would be hot, inspirational and well as aspirational.
Yet, advertising dumbs it down and latches on to the most base form of sexuality, an ideal that older women, who are comfortable in their own bodies, care little about. However, these are the same women who are more likely to have the means to plunk down their money on the clothing they’re hawking. Which is why I find these ads so stupidly laughable. Don’t you think much of what makes Helen Mirren sexy (aside from how good she looks in a bikini) is the fact that she comfortably accepts herself and honors it? Do you really think she is pining to be 13 again?
So, while I am mildly sickened by the over sexualization of young girls in grown up advertisements, I’m too bored by the already for it to really register or to rustle my feathers. What I’m more bothered by are advertisers who actually believe that any woman with even a shred of aplomb actually feels at all desirous to be that young again.
Bridgette Raes is the president of Bridgette Raes Style Group, author of the book Style Rx: Dressing the Body You Have to Create the Body You Want and a sought-after spokesperson, style expert and writer for many media outlets including CNN, Good Morning America and Real Simple Magazine. She and her Style Consultants are available worldwide for consultation, in-person or virtually.
This post is a copy of her blog post http://blog.bridgetteraes.com/2011/08/02/helen-mirren-voted-body-of-the-year-meanwhile-designers-using-13-year-olds-in-ad-campaigns/
It's Never Too Late to find Your Soulmate
August 18, 2011
Sondra Wright is a speaker, author, certified behavior specialist and expert on women and aging. She and I met on twitter and I enjoy her tweets and love her blog. she specializes in helping women over 40 remove the obstacles to moving forward “fierce, focused and full of life! She asked me for some tips for people over 40 and dating and I sent her a few. She included them in the following article on her blog and I’m excited to share it with you.
Too Late To Find Your Soulmate: Will This Lie Ever Die?
Recently, I came across an article at Mail Online, a UK lifestyle site which features a section of women interest stories called “Femail.” The story that caught my eye (and my breath) was called “The Plankton Generation – that’s women who are barely visible and at the bottom of the food chain for romance – just because they’re over 45.” It was written by a woman, Winifred Robinson, who I would guess to be over 40, simply because she describes herself as “married and out of the dating game for nearly 20 years,” and had come across the blog of a mid 40’s single woman who refers to herself as – -wait for it – -“The Plankton.”
Plankton – any drifting organisms (animals, plants, archaea, or bacteria) that inhabit the pelagic zone of oceans, seas, or bodies of fresh water, and serve as food for fish and other larger organisms. ~ Wikipedia
The Plankton’s blog is one which is dedicated to the lamentations of over 40 women, looking for love. She expresses that, “like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’.” Ms. Robinson sees this as a growing concern for many women over 40, and offers several possible reasons why; “middle-aged men are looking for partners who are far younger than them,” “The opportunities to meet other single people tend to peter out as we move from youth to middle age,” “older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find a match,” and“Older women may also be scuppering their chances by being too picky.”
For me, I detect a more subtle but primary reason that The Plankton is still single. One that has little to do with the fact that she’s 45 and everything to do with how she views herself at 45. In my opinion, any woman who refers to herself as Plankton and further solidifies her beliefs by dedicating a blog to it, has not only ruined her chances of finding a prince but she can kiss all the frogs good-bye as well. Her beliefs are affecting her actions and expectations and what she is getting in return is a direct result of that.
To be content on seeing oneself as small, weak and insignificant – is to dismiss the beauty and value you bring to the world. I did some digging and discovered that plankton are of extreme importance to our existence; playing a central role in our energy, carbon, and oxygen cycles in life. In fact, “Most of the oxygen we breathe is produced by photosynthetic plankton in our oceans.” ~New World Encyclopedia
At almost 48 years old I am very aware that as I move throughout the world, men notice me. They notice me because the thoughts I have about myself are revealed in the confidence my body language expresses. That’s what they see. And it’s not just me! I see it in 50 something’s, 60 something’s and yes, even 70 something’s, who feel good and practice feeling good about themselves. Those are the behaviors I model. Your outcomes start to change when your idea of yourself starts to change.
Women self sabotage and self destruct by buying into and perpetuating the stereotypical beliefs about women over 40 finding love and marriage. Just look at the way Ms. Robinson from Mail Online chose to end her piece, “So, no matter how much we might all wish it, when it comes to affairs of the heart, for the older single woman, there just isn’t a happy ending every time.” She bought it and now she’s selling it back to you. Otherwise, why would she suggest this is a problem for older women? Isn’t the real truth ladies, that when it comes to affairs of the heart, there’s no age group of woman for which there exists a happy ending every time?
Listen, marriage won’t solve your problems. If you’re not happy with yourself now, that won’t magically happen once you say “I do.” What you now have is a married unhappy you, who now risks poisoning someone else with your unhappiness. My advice: work on you! Work on you from the inside out so that when that lucky guy does come along – he won’t see Plankton when he looks at you. Instead, he’ll see you for the vibrant, confident, 40+ and Fabulous woman you are.
I checked in with my friend, Elizabeth Maness, founder of DatingDivaSites.com, and asked for a little dating insight for the over 40 crowd. Here’s what Liz had to say…
You are never too old to fall in love
I have read the letters from men and women of many of which are over 40 and find love again. In fact 35 and over are my target market in my business because they are more serious about finding relationships than younger people. Men and women join about 50/50 and most are interested in a long term relationship.
You can become too bitter allow yourself to fall in love again
I also get letters from the broken and bitter, and attitude is everything. They don’t believe they can find love again and they will not. I can’t think of anything attractive about a bitter soul. Can you? These are the clients that I refer to coaches. They have to heal before they can find a healthy relationship.
Self respect is an attractive feature
Love and respect yourself and you will attract the same from others. There is nothing sexier than a person who has self respect and it shows. People who respect themselves are very attractive and draw attention from people with the same qualities.
For more information on how to live “40+ and Fabulous,” visit http://40plusandfabulous.com
Sondra Wright is a speaker, author, certified behavior specialist and expert on women and aging. She and I met on twitter and I enjoy her tweets and love her blog. she specializes in helping women over 40 remove the obstacles to moving forward “fierce, focused and full of life! She asked me for some tips for people over 40 and dating and I sent her a few. She included them in the following article on her blog and I’m excited to share it with you.
Too Late To Find Your Soulmate: Will This Lie Ever Die?
Recently, I came across an article at Mail Online, a UK lifestyle site which features a section of women interest stories called “Femail.” The story that caught my eye (and my breath) was called “The Plankton Generation – that’s women who are barely visible and at the bottom of the food chain for romance – just because they’re over 45.” It was written by a woman, Winifred Robinson, who I would guess to be over 40, simply because she describes herself as “married and out of the dating game for nearly 20 years,” and had come across the blog of a mid 40’s single woman who refers to herself as – -wait for it – -“The Plankton.”
Plankton – any drifting organisms (animals, plants, archaea, or bacteria) that inhabit the pelagic zone of oceans, seas, or bodies of fresh water, and serve as food for fish and other larger organisms. ~ Wikipedia
The Plankton’s blog is one which is dedicated to the lamentations of over 40 women, looking for love. She expresses that, “like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’.” Ms. Robinson sees this as a growing concern for many women over 40, and offers several possible reasons why; “middle-aged men are looking for partners who are far younger than them,” “The opportunities to meet other single people tend to peter out as we move from youth to middle age,” “older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find a match,” and“Older women may also be scuppering their chances by being too picky.”
For me, I detect a more subtle but primary reason that The Plankton is still single. One that has little to do with the fact that she’s 45 and everything to do with how she views herself at 45. In my opinion, any woman who refers to herself as Plankton and further solidifies her beliefs by dedicating a blog to it, has not only ruined her chances of finding a prince but she can kiss all the frogs good-bye as well. Her beliefs are affecting her actions and expectations and what she is getting in return is a direct result of that.
To be content on seeing oneself as small, weak and insignificant – is to dismiss the beauty and value you bring to the world. I did some digging and discovered that plankton are of extreme importance to our existence; playing a central role in our energy, carbon, and oxygen cycles in life. In fact, “Most of the oxygen we breathe is produced by photosynthetic plankton in our oceans.” ~New World Encyclopedia
At almost 48 years old I am very aware that as I move throughout the world, men notice me. They notice me because the thoughts I have about myself are revealed in the confidence my body language expresses. That’s what they see. And it’s not just me! I see it in 50 something’s, 60 something’s and yes, even 70 something’s, who feel good and practice feeling good about themselves. Those are the behaviors I model. Your outcomes start to change when your idea of yourself starts to change.
Women self sabotage and self destruct by buying into and perpetuating the stereotypical beliefs about women over 40 finding love and marriage. Just look at the way Ms. Robinson from Mail Online chose to end her piece, “So, no matter how much we might all wish it, when it comes to affairs of the heart, for the older single woman, there just isn’t a happy ending every time.” She bought it and now she’s selling it back to you. Otherwise, why would she suggest this is a problem for older women? Isn’t the real truth ladies, that when it comes to affairs of the heart, there’s no age group of woman for which there exists a happy ending every time?
Listen, marriage won’t solve your problems. If you’re not happy with yourself now, that won’t magically happen once you say “I do.” What you now have is a married unhappy you, who now risks poisoning someone else with your unhappiness. My advice: work on you! Work on you from the inside out so that when that lucky guy does come along – he won’t see Plankton when he looks at you. Instead, he’ll see you for the vibrant, confident, 40+ and Fabulous woman you are.
I checked in with my friend, Elizabeth Maness, founder of DatingDivaSites.com, and asked for a little dating insight for the over 40 crowd. Here’s what Liz had to say…
You are never too old to fall in love
I have read the letters from men and women of many of which are over 40 and find love again. In fact 35 and over are my target market in my business because they are more serious about finding relationships than younger people. Men and women join about 50/50 and most are interested in a long term relationship.
You can become too bitter allow yourself to fall in love again
I also get letters from the broken and bitter, and attitude is everything. They don’t believe they can find love again and they will not. I can’t think of anything attractive about a bitter soul. Can you? These are the clients that I refer to coaches. They have to heal before they can find a healthy relationship.
Self respect is an attractive feature
Love and respect yourself and you will attract the same from others. There is nothing sexier than a person who has self respect and it shows. People who respect themselves are very attractive and draw attention from people with the same qualities.
For more information on how to live “40+ and Fabulous,” visit http://40plusandfabulous.com
Dating Online~First Impressions Count Here Too
August 15, 2011
Online Dating: First Impressions Count Here Too
By Mary Tice on Commentarista
In a world where everyone is connected via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and more, online dating seems like the best thing since the singles bar. But in a world full of character limits and characterless profiles, how do you make a connection with someone without using old one-liners?
These are actual emails I have received in the last month as a single female using a free online dating site. I have received numerous more in the past, but I will focus on the most current. For the most part, I (like most women I know) ignore them, but occasionally I feel the need to lend a hand to the poor souls who think these lines actually work.
“Is your name Summer? Because your hot as hell.”
Rule #1. If you are trying to make a great first impression, please use proper English and grammar. Smart women like men who know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I know it takes up two additional characters to add in the apostrophe and “e,” but please, proofread and type as though you attended grade school.
“id love 2 get 2 kno u if u wouldnt object 2 that”
Rule #2. Go back and read Rule #1 again, then add the ability to form full words. (My exact response: “Don’t take this the wrong way as I am sure you are a very nice person, but your message is written like something my 14-year old cousin would send me and it’s not impressive. Sorry.”)
“You with all dim curves and me with no brakes”
Hmm. So you are telling me you are a car? Or that you never get any rest? Ohhhh, I get it, it’s another bad one-liner and you think I will hop into bed with you right now. And BTW, FYI, the only dim thing is your wit.
“You got any sugar for this daddy?”
This came from an older gentleman (and by older I mean he could pass as my grandpa). Now I have dated older men, and by older I mean ten years older (as I am in my twenties). But really, if I can pass as your daughter or granddaughter, I have no desire to date you. Unless you give me cash up front with no touching involved. Ever.
“Be honest. You want me”
Did I email you? No. So I think that what you mean is that you want me. Come on, be honest. Besides, why would I want you when your profile picture is something reminiscent of MySpace glory days? Put a shirt on, get out of your bathroom and keep your hand out of your waistband when you take a photo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can consider finding your way to a decent pick-up line.
“Hello”
Now this isn’t bad writing, it just isn’t enough writing. I appreciate that you decided to send me a message, but at least tell me why you wanted to talk to me. Am I pretty? Are you rich? Did I win a prize? Do I want you? I would almost prefer a bad pick-up line over a simple “hello.” Because in this case the only response you will get back from me is “hello,” and that is only if I bother replying.
Let me show you a good online introduction: “Hi. I’m a 20/30/40-something single guy who thinks you are beautiful and smart, and I would love to meet you for a drink to see if we connect.” Now guys, isn’t that so much more appealing? You haven’t wasted anymore effort in the process and women will be more eager to respond.
Online dating isn’t as hard as it seems. But like most things in life, it takes some effort. People think that because you are hidden behind a computer screen, manners, grammar and common sense mean nothing. Before writing your next email to a potential date, ask yourself if the first impression you will be making is worthwhile or not?
StopwaitingStartDating
“Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and always has and always will” say Robyn Lawley, the first plus sized model to be featured on Austrialian Vogue. Australian Vogue will feature its first plus-size model in next month’s issue of the magazine.
Robyn Lawley, who wears an Australian size 14, was cast for a ten-page spread for the September addition of the magazine, making her the first full figured model to be featured in the magazine since it started 52 years ago.
In the spread, entitled ‘Belle Curve,’ the Sydney native shows off designs by Australian designers Alex Perry, Willow and Carla Zampatti.
This is not the 22-year-old’s first time in the spotlight: she has made previous appearances in Vogue Italia and Australian Cosmopolitan, and stole the spotlight on the cover of French Elle in April.
Kirstie Clements, the editor for Vogue Australia, called Robyn a “super-duper model,” saying that she was not cast based on her size.
“She’s really beautiful and you have to make the judgement about whether a girl’s special or not, so it really wasn’t about size or to make a statement,” said Clements
Robyn, who now lives in New York City, has spoken publicly about working in an industry dominated by thin figures.
Vogue Australia’s September issue is on sale now. Visit vogue.com.au. for more details
my weekly dating roundup
August 13, 2011
my weekly dating roundup. I adore this blog and this blogger!!! If you are one of my over 40 fans you’ll enjoy this blog too!
Sexy after 40 ~ You still Got it Honey
August 3, 2011
Guest Post From Bridgette Raes
Every morning I do a quick scan of the news in fashion via Google. It’s often how I pick up a good story worth mentioning on this blog. I find this helpful if I’m either rushed for time or out of ideas of something to post. Today, I actually found two articles so diametrically opposed that I needed to mention both of them.
Helen Mirren voted ‘Body of the Year’
First, according to a poll by People Helen Mirren has been voted ‘Body of the Year’ beating out celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton. How freakin’ cool is that? I always say that when I am a lady of age and wisdom I want to be Helen Mirren.
I think this is also awesome because it shows that the public is looking at sexy and beautiful in different ways and that it exceeds it being solely about how slim, trim, toned and young you are. Being sexy or hot or attractive is the total package of inner and outer qualities and, I agree with the poll, Helen Mirren’s got it!
Now…on to other news.
After reading that article that gave me a feeling of promise and hope, that society is finally starting to look past youth, perfection and dewy skin as the standard of beauty, I also read a in the NYPost about Teen Queens and how more designers are using 13-year old stars for their ad campaigns. (Snore…again?)
Designers and labels like Marc Jacobs, Miu Miu are utilizing the youth and star power of actresses like Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) along with sisters Dakota and Elle Fanning for their provocative and suggestive ads. I know, this is hardly a new approach (Hello Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein in the 80′s) but it always irks me and makes me uncomfortable all at the same time, but not for a reason you might think.
Dakota Fanning, 17, in Marc Jacobs’ perfume ad
This has undoubtedly caused a bit of a controversy and some are saying that the ads for fall look more like back-to-school catalogs regardless of the fact that there have been quite a few models who started their career at the same age.
Hailee Steinfeld, 14 in Miu Miu looks like she is wearing her mother’s clothing
While some have argued over the poor judgment in the use of young girls in these ads, I got a kick out of Hailee Steinfeld’s (currently the model for Miu Miu) comment in the article:
“The best part about [the Miu Miu] collection . . . is the fact that it’s so sophisticated — it’s timeless,” she said. “For younger girls like me, it works. It feels appropriate.”
Really Hailee? Timeless? What the heck do you know about timeless?
And, how many of you were shopping for Miu Miu, or Miu Miu level clothing, at 14 years old?
I didn’t think so.
In the NYPost article it, of course, elaborates on the sexualization of young girls and the fact that use of teenagers “hold up adolescent bodies as ideals of womanhood.” Both valid and important points, that we’ve heard oodles of time, but here is my gripe:
Most women really don’t come into their own until they hit their mid-thirties. Some of you younger readers may argue with me and I understand, I would have argued the same point when I was younger, but trust me (not to sound patronizing) one day you will get it. And, admittedly, one day, when I’m rounding the corner to my 50′s and beyond, after I develop even greater wisdom and comfort with myself, I will probably laugh at bit by how much I think I claim to know about myself at the age I am now. Bottom line, with age comes greater wisdom, greater comfort with ourselves and these ads using children are completely dismissive towards that fact. Who in their prime years yearn to be 13, 15 or 17 again? I sure don’t…not even if you handed me a suitcase of money as a trade. I wouldn’t trade a better bottom, perkier boobs or un-crinkled skin around my eyes for all the wisdom and comfort that the years since have offered me. Regardless of the fact that I’m not as comfortable in a bikini or a short skirt as I was at 17, I still feel a lot sexier and comfortable as a woman now than I did back back then. There is just something so sexy about a woman who is comfortable in her body and knows who she is. These juvenile ads miss that point and are missing out on the ability to capitalize on that. Imagine more advertisements celebrated the gorgeousness that comes with just coming into your own as a woman? God, they would be hot, inspirational and well as aspirational.
Yet, advertising dumbs it down and latches on to the most base form of sexuality, an ideal that older women, who are comfortable in their own bodies, care little about. However, these are the same women who are more likely to have the means to plunk down their money on the clothing they’re hawking. Which is why I find these ads so stupidly laughable. Don’t you think much of what makes Helen Mirren sexy (aside from how good she looks in a bikini) is the fact that she comfortably accepts herself and honors it? Do you really think she is pining to be 13 again?
So, while I am mildly sickened by the over sexualization of young girls in grown up advertisements, I’m too bored by the already for it to really register or to rustle my feathers. What I’m more bothered by are advertisers who actually believe that any woman with even a shred of aplomb actually feels at all desirous to be that young again.
Bridgette Raes is the president of Bridgette Raes Style Group, author of the book Style Rx: Dressing the Body You Have to Create the Body You Want and a sought-after spokesperson, style expert and writer for many media outlets including CNN, Good Morning America and Real Simple Magazine. She and her Style Consultants are available worldwide for consultation, in-person or virtually.
This post is a copy of her blog post http://blog.bridgetteraes.com/2011/08/02/helen-mirren-voted-body-of-the-year-meanwhile-designers-using-13-year-olds-in-ad-campaigns/
Forty And Flirting~Dating in your 40s
August 2, 2011
Sharing a Great Article with you from the wonder blogger Americancurvygirl
Dating in Your Forties
For a few weeks now I’ve been doing some research on dating in your forties and what I’ve seen can be very discouraging. There are rants about it on Craigs List and negativity about it abounds. I just don’t get it. It must be that those who find love and happiness after forty don’t run around posting about it on the internet. Although, quite a few of the Love Stories that I’ve posted on this blog were about people in their late thirties and forties.
Yes, it’s absolutely true that you can find love even after forty. I honestly don’t think it’s any more difficult than finding love at any other age. Maybe it’s that too many people are set in their ways or locked into certain behaviors and preferences so it’s more difficult for them to mesh with new people. I think the reality is that most of us actually grow more patient as we age and it’s just a noisy minority of people who write about their negative experiences with dating after forty.
Sure having kids can make it more difficult and seems to put more on the line when it comes to relationships. Most responsible parents want to protect their children from heart-break and feelings of abandonment in the event that the relationship doesn’t work out. There are those times when you bring someone around that you’re casually dating and the kids seem to bond with them more than you do and it’s probably a good idea to try to avoid that. Also, as a parent you have less time to go out on dates. You can’t just agree to a Friday night date on the spot because you need to work out a sitter or attend your kid’s soccer game.
How do you get around these kinds of things? Well, you can start by joining an online dating site and getting to know people online before you get to know them in person. Using the telephone and email is a lot easier for those of us with limited time and the need to protect our children’s hearts. At FortiesLove.com you can also use the Virtual Dating feature to have a few dates online before you even talk on the phone. It’s easy to sit down at your computer while the kids are in bed or out doing whatever it is kids do and get to know perspective dates without any hassle. There’s also Mobile Dating available there so you can search or interact with singles while you’re on the go.
While you’re meeting perspective dates in the virtual realm you can find out what a person is about and what it is they are looking for. You can get to know them in a totally relaxed environment without the nerves of a real first date. Then if you decide you do like them, your first in person date will go much more smoothly because you already know the person you’re going out with.
Okay, now that we’ve covered how to meet other singles, we’ll discuss something else I came across in my research. I found that a lot of men complain that women in their forties are too motherly for them. They want a woman who is mature but still able to cut loose and have fun. This is another complaint that I just don’t get. I am 42 years old and most of my friends are either in their forties or they’re pushing it hard. Not a single one of us is “motherly” to people other than our own children. We still have a sense of fun and like to laugh and be silly. I’m always telling people that I’m 42 going on fourteen and it’s true! Well on second thought, I do have a couple of friends that take life too seriously but ya know what? They ALWAYS did that. Maybe you guys are just meeting those kinds of women. Come on, we all know those people who are just too serious. It’s not even just women, there are lots of men like that too and it has to do more with personality than age.
So if you meet someone online who just seems too serious for you just move on to the next one. It’s a lot easier than going out on an actual date. There will be no awkward moment at the end of your virtual date where you’re worried they will try to kiss you or expect you to kiss them and there won’t be any screening of your calls for the next week or two. That goes for every complaint you can come up with. If someone is not a good match for you then move on and find someone who is. People these days seem to think that finding a romantic partner should be like buying peanut butter. There are way more choices out there than creamy or chunky so keep looking until you find the one that works for you!
If you’re in your forties and read this and realized that you’ve become too serious, lighten up and have some fun! Plan dates that will bring out your fun side. Go rent bikes or go roller skating. Go to an amusement park or go out dancing. Dating should be fun so you can truly relax and get to know each other in your natural, relaxed, state. Going out to dinner is fine too but why not save that for another date? I have always hated eating on a first date. I feel so on the spot and self-conscious and that is NOT a natural state for me! What is a natural state for me is dripping salsa or something greasy across my lap and chest while I’m nervously eating. Yes, I am a clutz and it’s much more enjoyable to fall on my butt roller skating than it is to spend the rest of my date with a big stain on my shirt. Stop being so worried about acting foolish and remember, you’re in your forties not your seventies. You’re still young enough to go out and play in the sunshine.
If you are one of those serious people don’t feel bad. It’s just who you are and there are other serious people out there for you. Heck you may even find a silly person that you click with. I’m a life long silly person who’s been married to a serious man for 11 years now! It’s just a matter of knowing what you want or being open to people who are different than you are. Love is a complex emotion based on many different factors. It’s down right unexplainable really. Just get out there and keep looking until you find the one that makes your heart go pitter patter. If you’re relaxed and patient (as I know all you old farts can be) you will find it…. Yeah, that’s right. I called you an old fart. What are you going to do about it, huh? Nothing, because I’ve already skated away… Neener, neener, neener!
A note about FortiesLove.com, It can be used for finding people of any age. You can choose to set it for any age group 18 and up so if you’re in your forties and are open to dating younger or older people you will not be limited to people in their forties. Also, if you’ve packed on some poundage as you’ve gotten older there’s also CurvyLove.com and that’s full of people looking for women with big curves.
Online Dating Special this week with Tangowire
August 1, 2011
I work with Tangowire dating sites and this is the beginning of our 10 celebrations
Friday: Free Chat All Day and Bundle Memberships Pricing (along with premium membership they get additional addons – more gifts, more impressions)
Saturday: Two Free Gifts and Bundle Membership Pricing
Sunday: One Free Email and Bundle Membership Pricing
Monday: Double the Credits (buy 1 credit get 2) and $9.95 monthly memberships
Tuesday: Premium Search Features Free and $9.95 monthly memberships
Wednesday: Free Chat and $9.95 monthly memberships
Thursday: 5 Free SMS and $9.95 monthly memberships
Friday: One Free Email and Bundle Membership Pricing
Saturday: 2 Free Gifts and Bundle Membership Pricing
Sunday: Free Chat and Super DUPER Bundle Memberships
You can go to http://onlinedatingnow.net and go to any of the sites listed to get these deals and become part of the fun!
Online Dating Advice For Women~ The Dishy One
July 28, 2011
Another great one from the up and coming Blogger Dishy Divorcee. I adore this lady and her blog.
Crap I can’t make up: red flags to on-line dating
Ladies, take a deep breath. I’m about to let you in on a little secret. The hottie with the user name CupidCasanova in NYC – DOES NOT EXIST. I know, at first glance, your self-esteem likely sky rocketed when the message popped up: “he’s interested!” You’ve been misled. One of two things is probably happening: 1, his greasy sausage fingers are mousing over your image while he touches himself inappropriately or 2, he is a desperate, 60-year-old agoraphobic playing a big, fat joke on single ladies across America.
Drunk & Dating
Another red flag in online dating is the guy who showcases his drinking agility in 10 out of 12 profile pictures. The threshold to his dating interests stop at beer bongs, night clubs, and the probability of getting laid. Sure, it’s nice to know that he has fun with friends and can hold-down a 1.25 liter of Smirnoff, but is vomiting nightly and waking up with your underwear on backwards the way you want to spend your single days? Oh, another clue, this moderate drinker’s favorite pastimes include the gym, hangin’ at a local cigar shop and several 3-day trips to Las Vegas.
Red flag number 3: the man who gets carried away in the “I’m looking for” segment. Recently, I read an actual profile that stated the following:
[ I want a woman who can multitask, a BFF that to confide in & let my guard down totally with. 2. I want a mother to take care of me… 3. I want a seductress or tramp depending on the mood. I want to be wanted & not have to ask for it. 4. Finally, I want a devoted secretary that is there to help whatever the situation & can do it without losing respect in me. I could go on & on like this for pages. What do I pray for? I want a woman who will love me, for who I am.]
He started off on the right track, but then it all went terribly wrong. Did he really use the word secretary? Good luck with that!
Just keepin’ it real,
XXOO Dishy
Advice For Men ~Dishy's telling it!
July 25, 2011
Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…
Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”
Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.
The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.
A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.
The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.
And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.
Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.
Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.
– XXOO
Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…
Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”
Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.
The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.
A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.
The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.
And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.
Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.
Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.
– XXOO
I've found a New Love~ Online Dating
July 11, 2011
The Sites We Love
I’m in love with something New..
MeetJuliet.com Brand new Relationship site that I’m in love with. Click to see a great site with some of the best features and prices I have seen in all my years. Post a profile and help get this started folks. You are going to love it.
Oldies but Goodies
The Dating sites that are reviewed here are from a trust company that been around for a while. Tangowire Dating is an integrated system of niche dating sites with over 70 niches. The staff at this company is outstanding and prides itself on friendly fast service. They care about your satisfaction and want you to have a good experience at their sites. After 7 seven years promoting their sites I can tell you they care about this company and their members. All of these sites are free to join and have awesome site features making online dating fun and exciting.
Big-Beautiful-Dates.com is a BBW dating site for single big beautiful women and the men who adore them. Curves are in and this place worships them.
BlackBeautyDates.com Is the place for beautiful black single men and women to mingle. Online Dating in a community made just for black singles to find love and romance.
ContemporaryDates.com is a dating community for modern singles looking for love online in a site that has all the features a modern single would enjoy in an online dating community to chat and meet new people for dating and relationships.
FindingAsianDates.com beautiful asian singles dating community for meeting other asian singles and the singles that admire them.
FindingMilitaryDates.com if you are affiliated with the military and are singles and looking then this community is for you. The site features like Go Mobile and virtual dating help men and women in the military date online while still in the field.
FireFighterPolice.com this is another great site for single firefighters and single police officers. If you love a single in uniform this site is a must see.
GayDatingNow.Net is a romance and dating site for gay singles looking for love online.
IvoryandEbonyLove.com Interracial Dating for black and white singles in an online community for finding love and romance.
LatinoDatingNow.com A dating community for beautiful latin singles and the people who adore them. Find a beautiful latin lover today when you sign up for free.
LesbianLoversandFriends.com lesbian singles and bisexual women can find love,friendships, and relationships in an online dating community made just for them.
we have many more sites to choose from throughout the webpage. If there is a specialty dating site that you are looking for that is not in this list try our site search and I bet we have it. Happy hunting!!!!
The Sites We Love
I’m in love with something New..
MeetJuliet.com Brand new Relationship site that I’m in love with. Click to see a great site with some of the best features and prices I have seen in all my years. Post a profile and help get this started folks. You are going to love it.
Oldies but Goodies
The Dating sites that are reviewed here are from a trust company that been around for a while. Tangowire Dating is an integrated system of niche dating sites with over 70 niches. The staff at this company is outstanding and prides itself on friendly fast service. They care about your satisfaction and want you to have a good experience at their sites. After 7 seven years promoting their sites I can tell you they care about this company and their members. All of these sites are free to join and have awesome site features making online dating fun and exciting.
Big-Beautiful-Dates.com is a BBW dating site for single big beautiful women and the men who adore them. Curves are in and this place worships them.
BlackBeautyDates.com Is the place for beautiful black single men and women to mingle. Online Dating in a community made just for black singles to find love and romance.
ContemporaryDates.com is a dating community for modern singles looking for love online in a site that has all the features a modern single would enjoy in an online dating community to chat and meet new people for dating and relationships.
FindingAsianDates.com beautiful asian singles dating community for meeting other asian singles and the singles that admire them.
FindingMilitaryDates.com if you are affiliated with the military and are singles and looking then this community is for you. The site features like Go Mobile and virtual dating help men and women in the military date online while still in the field.
FireFighterPolice.com this is another great site for single firefighters and single police officers. If you love a single in uniform this site is a must see.
GayDatingNow.Net is a romance and dating site for gay singles looking for love online.
IvoryandEbonyLove.com Interracial Dating for black and white singles in an online community for finding love and romance.
LatinoDatingNow.com A dating community for beautiful latin singles and the people who adore them. Find a beautiful latin lover today when you sign up for free.
LesbianLoversandFriends.com lesbian singles and bisexual women can find love,friendships, and relationships in an online dating community made just for them.
we have many more sites to choose from throughout the webpage. If there is a specialty dating site that you are looking for that is not in this list try our site search and I bet we have it. Happy hunting!!!!
Interracial Dating 2011 ~ Have Things Changed?
July 2, 2011
“Love sees no color.” – KJ Jerome
It has been almost 150 years since the emancipation of slaves and the abolishment of slavery and over 60 years since upstanding men like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X drove the Civil Rights Movement in an attempt for minorities to gain equality with Caucasians in this country. As a nation we’ve made strides and have become more accepting, culminating in the fact that we now have an African-American, Barack Hussein Obama, as our Head of State. However, despite how far we’ve come, we still have a very long way to go.
I was catching up with a long time friend of mine today that informed me that her love life had become rather complicated within the last few months. She explained to me that she’d fallen in love with a close friend, and although he has feelings for her as well, dating for them would be almost impossible because of the fact that his parents don’t like that she’s African-American (He’s Caucasian). When his parents found out, his mom asked, “Why’d it have to be a black girl?” I guess we should be grateful she didn’t ask, “Why’d it have to be a “nigger” woman?” It also seems his dad has threatened to exclude him from his will if the relationship continues. 
Seriously? Would the situation have garnered less hostility if the subjects were reversed? To some extent it seems that African-American women catch more hell for dating outside of their race-especially if it’s a Caucasian male-than African-American men. I wonder why that is exactly…
One has to ask, ‘What’s so bad about interracial dating?” Is there something that I’m not getting? Personally I think we should all date outside our perspective races to muddy up the waters a bit, that way we won’t be able to differentiate who’s what. Why are we still so caught up with color? The color of your skin has no bearing on who you are as a person, or who you’re going to become, at least it shouldn’t. Maybe it’s in the upbringing. As a child I played with children of other races and had no classification of who they were other than “my friends”. In various aspects of my adult life I’ve now grown to classify other adults not by color but as co-worker, boss, lover, friend, enemy, etc. I can still see the identifying color of this skin, but I DON”T CARE. People should be judged by their actions and what is in their heart, not on their complexion.
As for my friend and her dilemma, the only advice I could give her was to “do what makes you happy”. If being with this man is what you want then got for it. In the end you’re dating him and not his parents or anyone else that is bringing negativity into your relationship. Let your heart guide you and not your eyes. Remember, love sees no color.
@TheKrayze1
(For those interested in interracial dating you can check out www.coffeeandcreamlove.com. It’s a very resourceful site that allows you to connect with thousands of potential singles.)
From the Blog http://poetjames.wordpress.com/….
and the article Race Relations Please visit my lovely friend James’s Blog for other article for singles and dating.
Singles and Regrets ~Why Romance is top of the List
June 29, 2011
Way too often when asked what thing in life people regret the answer is that chance I didn’t take when it comes to love,relationships and romance. If “onlys” and “I should have” eat singles up inside. Why did I not go out with that one when I had the chance and why did I not tell them how I felt top the list of things people regret in life.
Women tend to name romantic regrets almost twice as often as men and feel they are most responsible when a romantic opportunity is lost. Psychologists have found women are raised in the US to believe that maintaining a relationship is their role in life and are more likely to blame themselves when something goes wrong in a relationship.
Are you afraid to take a chance on love? Stop letting fear keep you down. Take a chance and tell that certain someone how you feel. What’s the worst thing that can happen? They don’t feel the same way as you do? So what, at least you will know that the feelings you have are a waste of time and you can move forward.
Regret can be a powerful tool if used correctly. We can learn from the things that we regret not doing. We can take a chance and get out there and try to find love and stop pinning for the one we can’t have or the one we let get away. Take a chance and try something new. You’ll REGRET it if you don’t.
Stop Waiting Start Dating~
40 and having Fun!
June 20, 2011
From the Blog over40productqueen.blogspot My Over 40 Childish Behavior
There are certain things I loved at 10 that I continue to embrace as an over 40. Here are five of them:
1. A pony tail-
Even though I am probably too darn old to be wearing a pony tail, it’s a hard habit to break. When I have a bad hair day or Ma Nature is not being cooperative, I turn to my old friend, pony. Simple, yet very effective.
2. Chewing gum-
I know it’s not the most dainty or professional looking. Sometimes when I’m on a long car trip, or craving something sweet, I love some good old Double Bubble or those large sour gumballs. I am guilty of blowing some monstrous bubbles while deep in thought. Worry not, I don’t go to a cocktail party cracking my Wrigley’s. I do know better.
3. Crazy facial expressions-
I have a very animated face. When I was in college (100 years ago) a photography student took pictures of all my crazy facial expressions for his senior project and it was showcased. One beauty was even selected for the cover of our college newspaper. I can’t imagine I had any guys chasing me down for my phone number that month. Even in adulthood someone will make a comment about the faces I make. It’s been part of me for so long that I don’t even realize that I do it.
4. Reading magazines-
Man, I loved Seventeen Magazine. I wanted to be Brooke Shields in the biggest way. Occasionally,you could even catch me flipping through a GQ. I actually had my wall plastered with supermodels until Billy Idol came along. Nowadays, a magazine works wonders for me on a long flight. Of course I enjoy a good book, but sometimes I just want a magazine to pour over.
5. Laughing til my side aches-
There is truly nothing better than uncontrollable laughter. Well, perhaps if it’s at an inappropriate time or place it’s not so funny. Yeah, that’s happened. Sometimes late at night when I am way to tired to act like a functioning adult, the silliest thing will set me off and I cannot get control. I’ll just finally calm down and then off I go again. I wonder if this counts as exercise.
What childish behavior did you carry over to adulthood? I’d love to hear about it! “With a rebel yell, she cried more, more, more!” Thanks for reading. Bye for now….
Military Internet Paper Makes a splash via Twitter
June 13, 2011
http://paper.li/tag/military# Great Internet paper about the military as it is tweeted on twitter. Like IT!!!
Single Parent Dating Sites ~ Why And How
June 11, 2011
Dating as a single parent is no easy task. Trying to have a personal life while balancing a job, your children, and dealing with an ex is tough enough. Throw in dating and it can seem over whelming to say the least. You have enough to worry about without trying to add something else to do right? Okay where can you even go to look for other singles with a busy life like that if you had the time?
Many single parent are joining dating sites designed for Single parents. What makes this a good idea? First the people who are on the site are single parents also so they understand what it’s like to be you and online dating is so flexible. You communicate when you have time with people who know up front that you have a child so there is “bomb” to drop about having children.
Searching online for dating for a single parent can also help keep the children out of the date til you are sure this person is someone who you would like your children to meet. The dating is done through messaging and text til you know if this is someone who you are really interested in or not.
Tangowire dating site has a single parent dating niche with site features that are great for single parents interested in getting back into the dating scene. Virtual Dating is a hot new trend in online dating and can be done when you have the time to set it up. No need for a babysitter. Just arrange a time and you two can go on a virtual date in a romantic setting and never leave home. How cool is that? Go Mobile is another awesome site feature that makes dating for busy single parents easier. You can date from your mobile phone while still keeping your cell number anonymous til you are ready to exchange your number with a new person.
SingleParent.ContemporaryDates.com is made with the single parent in mind. You can mix and mingle with other single parents and managing dating within your busy life style. Many of the site features are free to use and the price is right for a single with a tight budget. Sign up for free today and you can reply to premium members that contact you. Not many sites will let you do that. Replies to paying members are free. How nice is that? Stop waiting til you have more time. You will never have more time as a single parent. You have options that you can make work for you. You deserve some Me Time and to find love again.
Stop Waiting Start Dating.
Dating Diva
Online Dating~ Is It Safe?
June 8, 2011
Post from My dear friend and online dating expert AmericanCurvyGirl~ From the Blog RomancingTheWeb.com
I am often asked by people if Online Dating is safe. I don’t blame people for being unsure about it because we hear stories and see things in the Media about some poor woman who was attacked or killed when she met a man from the internet. The Media just loves a good Horror Story. That is how they make their living after all. If they keep us good and scared of “Online Stalkers and Predators” we’re more likely to stay tuned so they can keep us safe.
My take on it is that for every one tragedy that comes from meeting someone online there is at least 1000 tragedies that happen when a woman meets a man at a bar, a dance club or any where for that matter. You see, when you meet someone online it’s okay to be cautious. It’s perfectly acceptable to get their name and address so you can leave it with your friend or maybe your mother. Also, anyone smart will have spoken to each other on the phone quite a few times before deciding to meet.
Think about it. When you meet someone online there is already a trail that can be followed in the event that something happens or you disappear. The police will simply track the IP address from any emails or subpoena the dating site for any information they have. If you are using a Dating Site that you both pay for there will also be credit card information that leads back to them.
To be honest I’m a cautious person myself. I don’t think I’d be out there using Craig’s List to meet people because I really would rather meet someone serious and grown up enough to use a real Dating Site. However, should you choose that route for yourself you can still be safe. Just get the person’s phone number and talk to them for a week or two before you decide to meet. That way you know it’s probably not a stolen phone because it most likely would have been turned off within that amount of time.
When my friend Jayme met her husband Dave she even had his work number and had spoken to him at his office so she knew he was really who he said he was. She was cautious and smart so she also told him outright that she had given a few of her friends his phone numbers as a safety net. That is an excellent idea because we should never assume that a killer or criminal is smart enough to realize that they would be easily caught.
If you just use caution and common sense you can make your Online Dating experience a very safe and secure adventure. Of course I can’t guarantee you that there is nothing to fear. I mean there is always the possibility that you will have spinach in your teeth throughout all three courses. I’m sorry but you’re on your own when it comes to the really scary stuff.
She met her Husband online and they are still happily married. I spent a week on a cruise with this lovely loving couple. They are darling. It can happen for you too. Online dating can be safe if done wisely just like offline dating. Stop Wating Start Dating!!!
Ageless Beauty & the Over 40 Syndrome
June 6, 2011
Love this blogger and her site. http://www.dishydivorcee.com/
I used to be really cute, like Jennifer Aniston mid-“Friends” cute. But my cute-quotient has modified with age. I have fallen victim to the 40 & over syndrome. I reached four decades this last February. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve held up pretty well, but suddenly beauty secrets for +40 women have batter-rammed their way into my daily life. More Magazine has replaced Glamour and Cosmo on my coffee table. Lately, I find myself distracted by female celebrities that have withstood the test of time (I’m 90% certain Halle Berry and Cindy Crawford are not of this universe). My ears perk to the sounds of: cellulite firming, eye lifting, wrinkle reducing, and ageless skin. Granted, this is exactly what the marketers want and I, well, I am simply putty in their hands. Over the last few weeks, I have purchased three exercise programs; Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, Zumba and the 6 Week Body Makeover.
1.The 6-Week Body Makeover has yet to arrive. I’m on pins and needles with this one due to a self-imposed 4 week goal to get in the best shape of my life.
2.Jillian Michael’s video is still in plastic. Sorry, Jillian, but you scare the crap out of me. It had to have been some sort of voo-doo hypnosis that forced my hand to purchase your exercise video from Target.
3.Zumba has defeated me. I haven’t successfully passed “the basics”; due to the FIFTY dance steps I’m required to learn. In the meantime, crunches reign – from celery crunches to stomach crunches – all in an effort to bring back my batta-bing.
Since divorcing, I’ve read several self-help books including; How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days. According to the author, I need to be physically and emotionally confident to move on. I should be able to look in the mirror and say, “I’m hot, I’m sassy and damn it, I’m worth it!” Bottom line, self improvement is and always will be a work in progress.
I’ll keep you posted. XXOO
– The Dishy Divorcee
Fortylicious~ To Being 40
June 4, 2011
40 And Dating
to Being 40…….
Fortylicious.ca
Now, where do I start? Maybe from the beginning. I LOVED the single life –going out and partying with not a care in the world and no one to report to. Then hubby came along and things changed.
I actually enjoyed going out with him, sharing my good times and bad times with him and knowing I had someone to come home to – my new best friend. Now let’s fast forward to KIDS. Was I ready for kids – NO! I wanted to continue my travels and go out without having crying children I knew I had to come home to.
Things must’ve changed when I turned 32 because then I REALLY wanted a child! Had the one and then thought “THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN MISSING?!” so, I went ahead and had another one. I felt great and a new sort of happy that came with these little people in our household. Feelings I couldn’t even express.
Fast forward again – it was when I turned 40 that a self realization struck – I still thought I looked good, and I was definitely feeling better now that the kids FINALLY slept through the night, so it was time to get out there and have some fun!
This feeling was further justified when I would go to the school yard and heard fathers and mothers a like saying how they wanted to run a marathon now that they had the time to train, or go away “without” the kids for a weekend. They were talking about movies they wanted to see, restaurants they wanted to go to and various projects they wanted to start now that their kids were more independent. So “DO IT” I thought to myself. Well, I took that thought one step further.
If they were just going to “talk” about it, I was actually going to do it and maybe motivate some people along the way. Don’t get me wrong – I am not saying my kids don’t need my attention anymore, (which I’m kind of happy about), but they need less of it and my husband is more comfortable being left alone with them.
I thought turning 40 could go two ways: 1. I could be upset that I was now aging and not having kids anymore, in fact, moving on to the “second half” of my life per se OR 2. I could embrace it and celebrate it. Turning 40 is a great time in your life – one is still healthy and able to do a lot of physical activities. It’s a great time to take up a hobby or make a change in your career, as you are still young and have the time to do so. I am so happy I went with option number 2, because now I look at being 40 in a whole new light.
I make a point of working out 4 times a week – I even tried running, however that didn’t really pan out. My husband and I have done a couple of weekend trips including Vegas when I turned 40 – LOVED THAT ONE! Speaking of which, it’s time to get “romantic” again with the hubby and maybe throw in a “date night” here and there. My parents take the kids every Monday night, which gives us time to ourselves – usually that involves a little “wachickawawa” in the bedroom, followed by a nice walk and then either dinner at home or in the hood. It really has brought us back together as a couple instead of just a “mom and dad”.
I am also thankful for a great group of girlfriends that I can get together with and have fun, whether it be going to a movie, shopping, to a restaurant or bar – even had a couple of “girls” weekends which were quite memorable indeed. But that’s another story!
I find when I am happy everyone else is happy too. So, the moral of this blog is not to dread turning 40 and if you’re there already – embrace it because it is a special time in your life that won’t be coming around again!!
For further inspiration and your opportunity to meet some wonderful people who have chosen option 2 – please join us at http://www.fortylicious.ca
Now go get your 40’s on!!
Heather
http://www.fortylicious.ca/blog/
Who I Am… (via Romancing the Web)
June 3, 2011
This blog is one you will want to follow. I have known this woman for many years and she will entertain and inform you will her post. she’s just getting started but check back she rocks!!!!
Dating Diva Sites 