Online Dating: First Impressions Count Here Too
By Mary Tice on Commentarista
In a world where everyone is connected via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and more, online dating seems like the best thing since the singles bar. But in a world full of character limits and characterless profiles, how do you make a connection with someone without using old one-liners?
These are actual emails I have received in the last month as a single female using a free online dating site. I have received numerous more in the past, but I will focus on the most current. For the most part, I (like most women I know) ignore them, but occasionally I feel the need to lend a hand to the poor souls who think these lines actually work.
“Is your name Summer? Because your hot as hell.”
Rule #1. If you are trying to make a great first impression, please use proper English and grammar. Smart women like men who know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I know it takes up two additional characters to add in the apostrophe and “e,” but please, proofread and type as though you attended grade school.
“id love 2 get 2 kno u if u wouldnt object 2 that”
Rule #2. Go back and read Rule #1 again, then add the ability to form full words. (My exact response: “Don’t take this the wrong way as I am sure you are a very nice person, but your message is written like something my 14-year old cousin would send me and it’s not impressive. Sorry.”)
“You with all dim curves and me with no brakes”
Hmm. So you are telling me you are a car? Or that you never get any rest? Ohhhh, I get it, it’s another bad one-liner and you think I will hop into bed with you right now. And BTW, FYI, the only dim thing is your wit.
“You got any sugar for this daddy?”
This came from an older gentleman (and by older I mean he could pass as my grandpa). Now I have dated older men, and by older I mean ten years older (as I am in my twenties). But really, if I can pass as your daughter or granddaughter, I have no desire to date you. Unless you give me cash up front with no touching involved. Ever.
“Be honest. You want me”
Did I email you? No. So I think that what you mean is that you want me. Come on, be honest. Besides, why would I want you when your profile picture is something reminiscent of MySpace glory days? Put a shirt on, get out of your bathroom and keep your hand out of your waistband when you take a photo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can consider finding your way to a decent pick-up line.
Now this isn’t bad writing, it just isn’t enough writing. I appreciate that you decided to send me a message, but at least tell me why you wanted to talk to me. Am I pretty? Are you rich? Did I win a prize? Do I want you? I would almost prefer a bad pick-up line over a simple “hello.” Because in this case the only response you will get back from me is “hello,” and that is only if I bother replying.
Let me show you a good online introduction: “Hi. I’m a 20/30/40-something single guy who thinks you are beautiful and smart, and I would love to meet you for a drink to see if we connect.” Now guys, isn’t that so much more appealing? You haven’t wasted anymore effort in the process and women will be more eager to respond.
Online dating isn’t as hard as it seems. But like most things in life, it takes some effort. People think that because you are hidden behind a computer screen, manners, grammar and common sense mean nothing. Before writing your next email to a potential date, ask yourself if the first impression you will be making is worthwhile or not?