Stop Wating ~ Start Dating!

Posts tagged ‘relationships’

Simply Solo Spotlight: Just Like My Favorite Pair of Panties (via Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey)

This is a delightful post and one I dare say you don’t want to miss out on reading my friends. Apply it to all areas of your life.

Simply Solo Spotlight: Just Like My Favorite Pair of Panties Today’s Simply Solo Spotlight is written by S.D. McKenzie, a certified relationship coach and founder of WhatTheLove™ relationship and singles life coaching, as well as the director of marketing for newly launched dating site, MeetJuliet.com. I think that today’s guest post is a hoot – the metaphor is very fitting and I know that many of us have been in this situation before. Maybe this post will be an eye opener for some of you out there. Quick … Read More

via Simply Solo: Single girl starting over – follow the journey

Advertisements

It's Never Too Late to find Your Soulmate

Sondra Wright is a speaker, author, certified behavior specialist and expert on women and aging. She and I met on twitter and I enjoy her tweets and love her blog. she specializes in helping women over 40 remove the obstacles to moving forward “fierce, focused and full of life! She asked me for some tips for people over 40 and dating and I sent her a few. She included them in the following article on her blog and I’m excited to share it with you.

Too Late To Find Your Soulmate: Will This Lie Ever Die?

Recently, I came across an article at Mail Online, a UK lifestyle site which features a section of women interest stories called “Femail.”  The story that caught my eye (and my breath) was called “The Plankton Generation – that’s women who are barely visible and at the bottom of the food chain for romance – just because they’re over 45.”  It was written by a woman, Winifred Robinson, who I would guess to be over 40, simply because she describes herself as “married and out of the dating game for nearly 20 years,” and had come across the blog of a mid 40’s single woman who refers to herself as – -wait for it – -“The Plankton.”

Plankton – any drifting organisms (animals, plants, archaea, or bacteria) that inhabit the pelagic zone of oceans, seas, or bodies of fresh water, and serve as food for fish and other larger organisms. ~ Wikipedia

The Plankton’s blog is one which is dedicated to the lamentations of over 40 women, looking for love. She expresses that, “like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’.” Ms. Robinson sees this as a growing concern for many women over 40, and offers several possible reasons why; “middle-aged men are  looking for partners who are far younger than them,” “The opportunities to meet other single people tend to peter out as we move from youth to middle age,” “older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find  a match,” and“Older women may also be scuppering their chances by being too picky.”

For me, I detect a more subtle but primary reason that The Plankton is still single. One that has little to do with the fact that she’s 45 and everything to do with how she views herself at 45. In my opinion, any woman who refers to herself as Plankton and further solidifies her beliefs by dedicating a blog to it, has not only ruined her chances of finding a prince but she can kiss all the frogs good-bye as well. Her beliefs are affecting her actions and expectations and what she is getting in return is a direct result of that.

To be content on seeing oneself as small, weak and insignificant – is to dismiss the beauty and value you bring to the world. I did some digging and discovered that plankton are of extreme importance to our existence; playing a central role in our energy, carbon, and oxygen cycles in life. In fact, “Most of the oxygen we breathe is produced by photosynthetic plankton in our oceans.” ~New World Encyclopedia

At almost 48 years old I am very aware that as I move throughout the world, men notice me. They notice me because the thoughts I have about myself are revealed in the confidence my body language expresses. That’s what they see. And it’s not just me! I see it in 50 something’s, 60 something’s and yes, even 70 something’s, who feel good and practice feeling good about themselves. Those are the behaviors I model. Your outcomes start to change when your idea of yourself starts to change.

Women self sabotage and self destruct by buying into and perpetuating the stereotypical beliefs about women over 40 finding love and marriage. Just look at the way Ms. Robinson from Mail Online chose to end her piece, “So, no matter how much we might all wish it, when it comes to affairs of the heart, for the older single woman, there just isn’t a happy ending every time.” She bought it and now she’s selling it back to you. Otherwise, why would she suggest this is a problem for older women? Isn’t the real truth ladies, that when it comes to affairs of the heart, there’s no age group of woman for which there exists a happy ending every time?

Listen, marriage won’t solve your problems. If you’re not happy with yourself now, that won’t magically happen once you say “I do.” What you now have is a married unhappy you, who now risks poisoning someone else with your unhappiness. My advice: work on you! Work on you from the inside out so that when that lucky guy does come along – he won’t see Plankton when he looks at you. Instead, he’ll see you for the vibrant, confident, 40+ and Fabulous woman you are.

I checked in with my friend, Elizabeth Maness, founder of DatingDivaSites.com, and asked for a little dating insight for the over 40 crowd.  Here’s what Liz had to say…

You are never too old to fall in love

I have read the letters from men and women of many of which are over 40 and find love again. In fact 35 and over are my target market in my business because they are more serious about finding relationships than younger people. Men and women join about 50/50 and most are interested in a long term relationship.

You can become too bitter allow yourself to fall in love again

I also get letters from the broken and bitter, and attitude is everything. They don’t believe they can find love again and they will not. I can’t think of anything attractive about a bitter soul.  Can you? These are the clients that I refer to coaches. They have to heal before they can find a healthy relationship.

Self respect is an attractive feature

Love and respect yourself and you will attract the same from others. There is nothing sexier than a person who has self respect and it shows. People who respect themselves are very attractive and draw attention from people with the same qualities.

 

For more information on how to live “40+ and Fabulous,” visit http://40plusandfabulous.com

It’s Never Too Late to find Your Soulmate

Sondra Wright is a speaker, author, certified behavior specialist and expert on women and aging. She and I met on twitter and I enjoy her tweets and love her blog. she specializes in helping women over 40 remove the obstacles to moving forward “fierce, focused and full of life! She asked me for some tips for people over 40 and dating and I sent her a few. She included them in the following article on her blog and I’m excited to share it with you.

Too Late To Find Your Soulmate: Will This Lie Ever Die?

Recently, I came across an article at Mail Online, a UK lifestyle site which features a section of women interest stories called “Femail.”  The story that caught my eye (and my breath) was called “The Plankton Generation – that’s women who are barely visible and at the bottom of the food chain for romance – just because they’re over 45.”  It was written by a woman, Winifred Robinson, who I would guess to be over 40, simply because she describes herself as “married and out of the dating game for nearly 20 years,” and had come across the blog of a mid 40’s single woman who refers to herself as – -wait for it – -“The Plankton.”

Plankton – any drifting organisms (animals, plants, archaea, or bacteria) that inhabit the pelagic zone of oceans, seas, or bodies of fresh water, and serve as food for fish and other larger organisms. ~ Wikipedia

The Plankton’s blog is one which is dedicated to the lamentations of over 40 women, looking for love. She expresses that, “like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’.” Ms. Robinson sees this as a growing concern for many women over 40, and offers several possible reasons why; “middle-aged men are  looking for partners who are far younger than them,” “The opportunities to meet other single people tend to peter out as we move from youth to middle age,” “older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find  a match,” and“Older women may also be scuppering their chances by being too picky.”

For me, I detect a more subtle but primary reason that The Plankton is still single. One that has little to do with the fact that she’s 45 and everything to do with how she views herself at 45. In my opinion, any woman who refers to herself as Plankton and further solidifies her beliefs by dedicating a blog to it, has not only ruined her chances of finding a prince but she can kiss all the frogs good-bye as well. Her beliefs are affecting her actions and expectations and what she is getting in return is a direct result of that.

To be content on seeing oneself as small, weak and insignificant – is to dismiss the beauty and value you bring to the world. I did some digging and discovered that plankton are of extreme importance to our existence; playing a central role in our energy, carbon, and oxygen cycles in life. In fact, “Most of the oxygen we breathe is produced by photosynthetic plankton in our oceans.” ~New World Encyclopedia

At almost 48 years old I am very aware that as I move throughout the world, men notice me. They notice me because the thoughts I have about myself are revealed in the confidence my body language expresses. That’s what they see. And it’s not just me! I see it in 50 something’s, 60 something’s and yes, even 70 something’s, who feel good and practice feeling good about themselves. Those are the behaviors I model. Your outcomes start to change when your idea of yourself starts to change.

Women self sabotage and self destruct by buying into and perpetuating the stereotypical beliefs about women over 40 finding love and marriage. Just look at the way Ms. Robinson from Mail Online chose to end her piece, “So, no matter how much we might all wish it, when it comes to affairs of the heart, for the older single woman, there just isn’t a happy ending every time.” She bought it and now she’s selling it back to you. Otherwise, why would she suggest this is a problem for older women? Isn’t the real truth ladies, that when it comes to affairs of the heart, there’s no age group of woman for which there exists a happy ending every time?

Listen, marriage won’t solve your problems. If you’re not happy with yourself now, that won’t magically happen once you say “I do.” What you now have is a married unhappy you, who now risks poisoning someone else with your unhappiness. My advice: work on you! Work on you from the inside out so that when that lucky guy does come along – he won’t see Plankton when he looks at you. Instead, he’ll see you for the vibrant, confident, 40+ and Fabulous woman you are.

I checked in with my friend, Elizabeth Maness, founder of DatingDivaSites.com, and asked for a little dating insight for the over 40 crowd.  Here’s what Liz had to say…

You are never too old to fall in love

I have read the letters from men and women of many of which are over 40 and find love again. In fact 35 and over are my target market in my business because they are more serious about finding relationships than younger people. Men and women join about 50/50 and most are interested in a long term relationship.

You can become too bitter allow yourself to fall in love again

I also get letters from the broken and bitter, and attitude is everything. They don’t believe they can find love again and they will not. I can’t think of anything attractive about a bitter soul.  Can you? These are the clients that I refer to coaches. They have to heal before they can find a healthy relationship.

Self respect is an attractive feature

Love and respect yourself and you will attract the same from others. There is nothing sexier than a person who has self respect and it shows. People who respect themselves are very attractive and draw attention from people with the same qualities.

 

For more information on how to live “40+ and Fabulous,” visit http://40plusandfabulous.com

Advice For Men ~Dishy's telling it!

Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…

Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”

Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.

The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.

A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.

The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.

And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.

Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.

– XXOO

Dishy Divorcee

Advice For Men ~Dishy’s telling it!

Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…

Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”

Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.

The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.

A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.

The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.

And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.

Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.

– XXOO

Dishy Divorcee

Free Online Dating Seminar With Dating Diva And Meet Juliet

Online dating has gone from a taboo, to a natural part of our single lifestyles. But for some, it still hasn’t brought them the results that they anticipated. It is the profile? The picture? Are you saying too much or too little? All of these are questions that any digital dater has asked and needed an answer to.

Then there is no place else you should be on Sunday, June 12th at 8:00 p.m. CST.

We’re sitting down for another chat with DatingDivaSites.com. Our resident “Dating Diva” will spill and dish on the key elements of making online dating site work for you, and she should know, she works and has worked with more than 20 sites–this means she’s an expert. In addition to making it work, she’s going to teach you a bit about online safety–after all, we want you to be single and safe.

Ok, so now you have the details…so register and tell a few friends!

So, here we go again, and if you missed Volume I: Where Ya At, don’t make the same mistake TWICE!

In the meanwhile, visit:

www.whatthelove.org and www.datingdivasites.com
AND to submit a question prior to the event, click Contact WTL on the WhatTheLove.org site.

ALL TIMES CENTRAL STANDARD TIME.

**This event will be recorded, and made available to all registrants (sometimes people register, but don’t make the call. It will not be available for public download.***

To register follow the link http://computerlovin.eventbrite.com/

Are you into Interracial Dating? Study says Yes And No?

http://charlotte.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/southern_blend_a_dating_experiment/Content?oid=1247232

Interesting article about interracial dating and places that it seems taboo. How do you feel about interracial dating? Common answer found..It’s okay for other people to do it but it’s not for me. Study after study finds that even in 2011 most people date within their own culture and race. People have preconceived ideas about races and ethnic groups that tend to steer them away or towards a group. Do we still judge people based on race? The answer seems to be yes.

If you are a singles and would like to date outside of your own ethnic group can you find a place online to do it? You can if you look to niche dating. Niche dating is a term used in the online dating industry used to define specialty dating. Say you like interracial dating, then you would need to find a dating site that caters to that need. They exist by the thousands and they are the best place to find people who are interested in interracial dating, sites like IvoryandEbonylove.com an interracial dating site for black and white singles looking for dating and relationships online.

Asian Singles have their own struggles with racism and stereotypical ideas about their race. Some people are attracted to those ideal while other spurn Asian singles for them. The same problems face Asian singles when it comes to online dating and a solution is to go to a niche made for Asian single daters. FindingAsianDates.com is an Asian dating site for Asian Singles and people interested in dating Asian singles. This is NOT an Asian bride site but a site for dating and meeting Asian singles from The US to all parts of the world where they might live.

Latin singles are in the same boat when it comes to beliefs about their culture. Those ideas about them as a group are a plus for some and a complete turn off to others. Mainstream online dating sites pose a problem for them too. Often they are overlooked by daters because they have preconceived ideas about dating Latino singles. Niche dating comes to the rescue again. Hispanic singles can join a site that caters to their race and culture and the people who are attracted to them. LatinoDatingNow.com is a Latino dating site for Latin singles and their admirers.

In this day and age you would think that racism in dating would no longer exist. It does still exist according to studies in that people accept interracial couples but just aren’t that open to dating outside their own ethnic group. Many things have changed as far as acceptance of interracial couples but there are still some old ideas hanging around too.

Article from IvoryandEbonyLove.blogspot.com

%d bloggers like this: