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Dating Online~First Impressions Count Here Too

Online Dating: First Impressions Count Here Too

By Mary Tice on Commentarista

In a world where everyone is connected via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and more, online dating seems like the best thing since the singles bar. But in a world full of character limits and characterless profiles, how do you make a connection with someone without using old one-liners?

These are actual emails I have received in the last month as a single female using a free online dating site. I have received numerous more in the past, but I will focus on the most current. For the most part, I (like most women I know) ignore them, but occasionally I feel the need to lend a hand to the poor souls who think these lines actually work.

“Is your name Summer? Because your hot as hell.”

Rule #1. If you are trying to make a great first impression, please use proper English and grammar. Smart women like men who know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I know it takes up two additional characters to add in the apostrophe and “e,” but please, proofread and type as though you attended grade school.

“id love 2 get 2 kno u if u wouldnt object 2 that”

Rule #2. Go back and read Rule #1 again, then add the ability to form full words. (My exact response: “Don’t take this the wrong way as I am sure you are a very nice person, but your message is written like something my 14-year old cousin would send me and it’s not impressive. Sorry.”)

“You with all dim curves and me with no brakes”

Hmm. So you are telling me you are a car? Or that you never get any rest? Ohhhh, I get it, it’s another bad one-liner and you think I will hop into bed with you right now. And BTW, FYI, the only dim thing is your wit.

“You got any sugar for this daddy?”

This came from an older gentleman (and by older I mean he could pass as my grandpa). Now I have dated older men, and by older I mean ten years older (as I am in my twenties). But really, if I can pass as your daughter or granddaughter, I have no desire to date you. Unless you give me cash up front with no touching involved. Ever.

“Be honest. You want me”

Did I email you? No. So I think that what you mean is that you want me. Come on, be honest. Besides, why would I want you when your profile picture is something reminiscent of MySpace glory days? Put a shirt on, get out of your bathroom and keep your hand out of your waistband when you take a photo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can consider finding your way to a decent pick-up line.


Now this isn’t bad writing, it just isn’t enough writing. I appreciate that you decided to send me a message, but at least tell me why you wanted to talk to me. Am I pretty? Are you rich? Did I win a prize? Do I want you? I would almost prefer a bad pick-up line over a simple “hello.” Because in this case the only response you will get back from me is “hello,” and that is only if I bother replying.

Let me show you a good online introduction: “Hi. I’m a 20/30/40-something single guy who thinks you are beautiful and smart, and I would love to meet you for a drink to see if we connect.” Now guys, isn’t that so much more appealing? You haven’t wasted anymore effort in the process and women will be more eager to respond.

Online dating isn’t as hard as it seems. But like most things in life, it takes some effort. People think that because you are hidden behind a computer screen, manners, grammar and common sense mean nothing. Before writing your next email to a potential date, ask yourself if the first impression you will be making is worthwhile or not?



Online Dating Advice For Women~ The Dishy One

Another great one from the up and coming Blogger Dishy Divorcee. I adore this lady and her blog.

Crap I can’t make up: red flags to on-line dating

Ladies, take a deep breath. I’m about to let you in on a little secret. The hottie with the user name CupidCasanova in NYC – DOES NOT EXIST. I know, at first glance, your self-esteem likely sky rocketed when the message popped up: “he’s interested!” You’ve been misled. One of two things is probably happening: 1, his greasy sausage fingers are mousing over your image while he touches himself inappropriately or 2, he is a desperate, 60-year-old agoraphobic playing a big, fat joke on single ladies across America.

Drunk & Dating

Another red flag in online dating is the guy who showcases his drinking agility in 10 out of 12 profile pictures. The threshold to his dating interests stop at beer bongs, night clubs, and the probability of getting laid. Sure, it’s nice to know that he has fun with friends and can hold-down a 1.25 liter of Smirnoff, but is vomiting nightly and waking up with your underwear on backwards the way you want to spend your single days? Oh, another clue, this moderate drinker’s favorite pastimes include the gym, hangin’ at a local cigar shop and several 3-day trips to Las Vegas.

Red flag number 3: the man who gets carried away in the “I’m looking for” segment. Recently, I read an actual profile that stated the following:

[ I want a woman who can multitask, a BFF that to confide in & let my guard down totally with. 2. I want a mother to take care of me… 3. I want a seductress or tramp depending on the mood. I want to be wanted & not have to ask for it. 4. Finally, I want a devoted secretary that is there to help whatever the situation & can do it without losing respect in me. I could go on & on like this for pages. What do I pray for? I want a woman who will love me, for who I am.]

He started off on the right track, but then it all went terribly wrong. Did he really use the word secretary? Good luck with that!

Just keepin’ it real,

XXOO Dishy

Advice For Men ~Dishy’s telling it!

Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…

Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”

Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.

The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.

A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.

The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.

And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.

Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.


Dishy Divorcee

Singles and Regrets ~Why Romance is top of the List

Way too often when asked what thing in life people regret the answer is that chance I didn’t take when it comes to love,relationships and romance. If “onlys” and “I should have” eat singles up inside. Why did I not go out with that one when I had the chance and why did I not tell them how I felt top the list of things people regret in life.

Women tend to name romantic regrets almost twice as often as men and feel they are most responsible when a romantic opportunity is lost. Psychologists have found women are raised in the US to believe that maintaining a relationship is their role in life and are  more likely to blame themselves when something goes wrong in a relationship.

Are you afraid to take a chance on love? Stop letting fear keep you down. Take a chance and tell that certain someone how you feel. What’s the worst thing that can happen? They don’t feel the same way as you do? So what, at least you will know that the feelings you have are a waste of time and you can move forward.

Regret can be a powerful tool if used correctly. We can learn from the things that we regret not doing. We can take a chance and get out there and try  to find love and stop pinning for the one we can’t have or the one we let get away.  Take a chance and try something new. You’ll REGRET it if you don’t.

Stop Waiting Start Dating~

Online Dating~ Is It Safe?

Post from My dear friend and online dating expert AmericanCurvyGirl~ From the Blog

I am often asked by people if Online Dating is safe.  I don’t blame people for being unsure about it because we hear stories and see things in the Media about some poor woman who was attacked or killed when she met a man from the internet.  The Media just loves a good Horror Story. That is how they make their living after all. If they keep us good and scared of “Online Stalkers and Predators”  we’re more likely to stay tuned so they can keep us safe.

My take on it is that for every one tragedy that comes from meeting someone online there is at least 1000 tragedies that happen when a woman meets a man at a bar, a dance club or any where for that matter. You see, when you meet someone online it’s okay to be cautious. It’s perfectly acceptable to get their name and address so you can leave it with your friend or maybe your mother.  Also, anyone smart will have spoken to each other on the phone quite a few times before deciding to meet.

Think about it.  When you meet someone online there is already a trail that can be followed in the event that something happens or you disappear.  The police will simply track the IP address from any emails or subpoena the dating site for any information they have.  If you are using a Dating Site that you both pay for there will also be credit card information that leads back to them.

To be honest I’m a cautious person myself. I don’t think I’d be out there using Craig’s List to meet people because I really would rather meet someone serious and grown up enough to use a real Dating Site.  However, should you choose that route for yourself you can still be safe.  Just get the person’s phone number and talk to them for a week or two before you decide to meet.  That way you know it’s probably not a stolen phone because it most likely would have been turned off within that amount of time.

When my friend Jayme met her husband Dave she even had his work number and had spoken to him at his office so she knew he was really who he said he was.  She was cautious and smart so she also told him outright that she had given a few of her friends his phone numbers as a safety net.  That is an excellent idea because we should never assume that a  killer or criminal is smart enough to realize that they would be easily caught.

If you just use caution and common sense you can make your Online Dating experience a very safe and secure adventure.  Of course I can’t guarantee you that there is nothing to fear. I mean there is always the possibility that you will have spinach in your teeth throughout all three courses. I’m sorry but you’re on your own when it comes to the really scary stuff.

She met her Husband online and they are still happily married. I spent a week on a cruise with this lovely loving couple. They are darling. It can happen for you too. Online dating can be safe if done wisely just like offline dating. Stop Wating Start Dating!!!

Free Online Dating Seminar With Dating Diva And Meet Juliet

Online dating has gone from a taboo, to a natural part of our single lifestyles. But for some, it still hasn’t brought them the results that they anticipated. It is the profile? The picture? Are you saying too much or too little? All of these are questions that any digital dater has asked and needed an answer to.

Then there is no place else you should be on Sunday, June 12th at 8:00 p.m. CST.

We’re sitting down for another chat with Our resident “Dating Diva” will spill and dish on the key elements of making online dating site work for you, and she should know, she works and has worked with more than 20 sites–this means she’s an expert. In addition to making it work, she’s going to teach you a bit about online safety–after all, we want you to be single and safe.

Ok, so now you have the details…so register and tell a few friends!

So, here we go again, and if you missed Volume I: Where Ya At, don’t make the same mistake TWICE!

In the meanwhile, visit: and
AND to submit a question prior to the event, click Contact WTL on the site.


**This event will be recorded, and made available to all registrants (sometimes people register, but don’t make the call. It will not be available for public download.***

To register follow the link

Online Dating Sites – Free and What it Means

Did you know that you can join most online dating sites for free? You can join almost any site and put up a profile and be listed on that site. There is a ctach though. Many sites will not allow free member to respond to e-mails from other members. Even if that member is a paying member. I had no idea. The flip side~ You could be a paying member on this site and try to communicate with a free member and guess what? The member can’t reply back. Free does always mean much but I know a place where you can go and get the best of both worlds.

The Dating sites that are reviewed here are from a trust company that has been around for a while. Tangowire Dating is an integrated system of niche dating sites with over 70 niches. The staff at this company is outstanding and prides itself on friendly fast service. They care about your satisfaction and want you to have a good experience at their sites. After 7 seven years promoting their sites I can tell you they care about this company and their members. All of these sites are free to join and guess what else? They are free to reply to paying members. That’s right. If a paying member contacts you, you can talk all you want to that member for free. A list of my favorites and Most popular are : is a BBW dating site for single big beautiful women and the men who adore them. Curves are in and this place worships them. Is the place for beautiful black single men and women to mingle. Online Dating in a community made just for black singles to find love and romance. is a dating community for modern singles looking for love online in a site that has all the features a modern single would enjoy in an online dating community to chat and meet new people for dating and relationships. beautiful asian singles dating community for meeting other asian singles and the singles that admire them. if you are affiliated with the military and are singles and looking then this community is for you. The site features like Go Mobile and virtual dating help men and women in the military date online while still in the field. this is another great site for single firefighters and single police officers. If you love a single in uniform this site is a must see.

GayDatingNow.Net is a romance and dating site for gay singles looking for love online. Interracial Dating for black and white singles in an online community for finding love and romance. A dating community for beautiful latin singles and the people who adore them. Find a beautiful latin lover today when you sign up for free. lesbian singles and bisexual women can find love,friendships, and relationships in an online dating community made just for them.

Sometimes free doesn’t mean a thing but with Tangowire you can get a lot for a little.

From the ArticleOnline Dating sites~Free doesn’t always mean what you think it does

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