Stop Wating ~ Start Dating!

Online Dating For Women 40 and Up

What are the secrets to successful online dating? A few weeks on any online dating site is a learning experience and, if you are a woman over 40, good strategies can save a lot of time and energy. This article is the first in a series that may help you maximize your online dating efforts.

Tip #1: Capitalize on Being “New”

When you sign up for any online dating site, you are often featured in a new member section. This is like being a cute freshman in college and having the attention of all the upperclassmen. For the first two weeks, emails and “flirts” quickly fill up your online dating mailbox. It is a great ego boost and certainly a strong incentive to dig in, start  reading profiles and responding to your favorites in the group of potential  matches.
A word of caution for this initial stage. Many online daters are soley interested in communicating via email or text and, for some odd reason, really don’t ever intend to meet in person. Promising email exchanges may suddenly end in a non-response. Even when “real” email addresses or phone numbers are exchanged, live human interaction may not take place. Do not be discouraged because this is entirely normal for this platform.

Keep in mind that this abundance of attention will come in all forms. You will attract much older men, men from far away and men you would probably never consider dating. Absolutely do not use these random responses to shatter your sense of self.

Much like a blind date, the number of objectively unattractive men who email you does not mean that this is who you should be dating. If at all possible, refuse to feel rejection in this process. Keep the momentum, use the search feature and respond to anyone is in the relevant range of someone you might like.

Enjoy the compliments and attention from anyone who offers a compliment. “You have a beautiful smile,” is wonderful to hear from anyone, especially if you receive the same comment several times. Now you know your best features and you can use them to your advantage going forward.

Continue reading on Strategies for women over 40 who are new to online dating – San Jose Fortysomething Relationships |

Denise Geschke


Comments on: "Online Dating For Women 40 and Up" (4)

  1. Denise Geschke is a novice matchmaker, currently working as a “ghost” dater on several online matchmaking sites, hoping to find true love for single, close friends who have found only frustration in online dating venues. She has written columns for University publications, business magazines, Mom’s Club Newsletters and is a regular source of humorous dating and relationship commentary. She has an MBA from the Anderson School at UCLA and has taught economics and business at Foothill College for the last ten years. Denise is a mother of two and has been happily married for many years.

  2. Good article with useful info. My friend is always a bit mad if a man way less attractive than her tries to chat her up. Online it’s a whole new ball game, and easier to avoid them.

    Ghost dater! Love that.

    • I love this article and the ghost dater.. go to her articles in the examiner and read more.. She’s great. Yes online dating is a whole new ballgame!

  3. Thank you for giving these good, healthy, explanatory and even fun tips on that topic.

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