Stop Wating ~ Start Dating!

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Dating Online~First Impressions Count Here Too

Online Dating: First Impressions Count Here Too

By Mary Tice on Commentarista

In a world where everyone is connected via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and more, online dating seems like the best thing since the singles bar. But in a world full of character limits and characterless profiles, how do you make a connection with someone without using old one-liners?

These are actual emails I have received in the last month as a single female using a free online dating site. I have received numerous more in the past, but I will focus on the most current. For the most part, I (like most women I know) ignore them, but occasionally I feel the need to lend a hand to the poor souls who think these lines actually work.

“Is your name Summer? Because your hot as hell.”

Rule #1. If you are trying to make a great first impression, please use proper English and grammar. Smart women like men who know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I know it takes up two additional characters to add in the apostrophe and “e,” but please, proofread and type as though you attended grade school.

“id love 2 get 2 kno u if u wouldnt object 2 that”

Rule #2. Go back and read Rule #1 again, then add the ability to form full words. (My exact response: “Don’t take this the wrong way as I am sure you are a very nice person, but your message is written like something my 14-year old cousin would send me and it’s not impressive. Sorry.”)

“You with all dim curves and me with no brakes”

Hmm. So you are telling me you are a car? Or that you never get any rest? Ohhhh, I get it, it’s another bad one-liner and you think I will hop into bed with you right now. And BTW, FYI, the only dim thing is your wit.

“You got any sugar for this daddy?”

This came from an older gentleman (and by older I mean he could pass as my grandpa). Now I have dated older men, and by older I mean ten years older (as I am in my twenties). But really, if I can pass as your daughter or granddaughter, I have no desire to date you. Unless you give me cash up front with no touching involved. Ever.

“Be honest. You want me”

Did I email you? No. So I think that what you mean is that you want me. Come on, be honest. Besides, why would I want you when your profile picture is something reminiscent of MySpace glory days? Put a shirt on, get out of your bathroom and keep your hand out of your waistband when you take a photo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can consider finding your way to a decent pick-up line.


Now this isn’t bad writing, it just isn’t enough writing. I appreciate that you decided to send me a message, but at least tell me why you wanted to talk to me. Am I pretty? Are you rich? Did I win a prize? Do I want you? I would almost prefer a bad pick-up line over a simple “hello.” Because in this case the only response you will get back from me is “hello,” and that is only if I bother replying.

Let me show you a good online introduction: “Hi. I’m a 20/30/40-something single guy who thinks you are beautiful and smart, and I would love to meet you for a drink to see if we connect.” Now guys, isn’t that so much more appealing? You haven’t wasted anymore effort in the process and women will be more eager to respond.

Online dating isn’t as hard as it seems. But like most things in life, it takes some effort. People think that because you are hidden behind a computer screen, manners, grammar and common sense mean nothing. Before writing your next email to a potential date, ask yourself if the first impression you will be making is worthwhile or not?



Online Dating~ Is It Safe?

Post from My dear friend and online dating expert AmericanCurvyGirl~ From the Blog

I am often asked by people if Online Dating is safe.  I don’t blame people for being unsure about it because we hear stories and see things in the Media about some poor woman who was attacked or killed when she met a man from the internet.  The Media just loves a good Horror Story. That is how they make their living after all. If they keep us good and scared of “Online Stalkers and Predators”  we’re more likely to stay tuned so they can keep us safe.

My take on it is that for every one tragedy that comes from meeting someone online there is at least 1000 tragedies that happen when a woman meets a man at a bar, a dance club or any where for that matter. You see, when you meet someone online it’s okay to be cautious. It’s perfectly acceptable to get their name and address so you can leave it with your friend or maybe your mother.  Also, anyone smart will have spoken to each other on the phone quite a few times before deciding to meet.

Think about it.  When you meet someone online there is already a trail that can be followed in the event that something happens or you disappear.  The police will simply track the IP address from any emails or subpoena the dating site for any information they have.  If you are using a Dating Site that you both pay for there will also be credit card information that leads back to them.

To be honest I’m a cautious person myself. I don’t think I’d be out there using Craig’s List to meet people because I really would rather meet someone serious and grown up enough to use a real Dating Site.  However, should you choose that route for yourself you can still be safe.  Just get the person’s phone number and talk to them for a week or two before you decide to meet.  That way you know it’s probably not a stolen phone because it most likely would have been turned off within that amount of time.

When my friend Jayme met her husband Dave she even had his work number and had spoken to him at his office so she knew he was really who he said he was.  She was cautious and smart so she also told him outright that she had given a few of her friends his phone numbers as a safety net.  That is an excellent idea because we should never assume that a  killer or criminal is smart enough to realize that they would be easily caught.

If you just use caution and common sense you can make your Online Dating experience a very safe and secure adventure.  Of course I can’t guarantee you that there is nothing to fear. I mean there is always the possibility that you will have spinach in your teeth throughout all three courses. I’m sorry but you’re on your own when it comes to the really scary stuff.

She met her Husband online and they are still happily married. I spent a week on a cruise with this lovely loving couple. They are darling. It can happen for you too. Online dating can be safe if done wisely just like offline dating. Stop Wating Start Dating!!!

Fortylicious~ To Being 40

40 and fabulous

40 And Dating

to Being 40…….

Now, where do I start? Maybe from the beginning. I LOVED the single life –going out and partying with not a care in the world and no one to report to. Then hubby came along and things changed.

I actually enjoyed going out with him, sharing my good times and bad times with him and knowing I had someone to come home to – my new best friend. Now let’s fast forward to KIDS. Was I ready for kids – NO! I wanted to continue my travels and go out without having crying children I knew I had to come home to.

Things must’ve changed when I turned 32 because then I REALLY wanted a child! Had the one and then thought “THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN MISSING?!” so, I went ahead and had another one. I felt great and a new sort of happy that came with these little people in our household. Feelings I couldn’t even express.

Fast forward again – it was when I turned 40 that a self realization struck – I still thought I looked good, and I was definitely feeling better now that the kids FINALLY slept through the night, so it was time to get out there and have some fun!

This feeling was further justified when I would go to the school yard and heard fathers and mothers a like saying how they wanted to run a marathon now that they had the time to train, or go away “without” the kids for a weekend. They were talking about movies they wanted to see, restaurants they wanted to go to and various projects they wanted to start now that their kids were more independent. So “DO IT” I thought to myself. Well, I took that thought one step further.

If they were just going to “talk” about it, I was actually going to do it and maybe motivate some people along the way. Don’t get me wrong – I am not saying my kids don’t need my attention anymore, (which I’m kind of happy about), but they need less of it and my husband is more comfortable being left alone with them.

I thought turning 40 could go two ways: 1. I could be upset that I was now aging and not having kids anymore, in fact, moving on to the “second half” of my life per se OR 2. I could embrace it and celebrate it. Turning 40 is a great time in your life – one is still healthy and able to do a lot of physical activities. It’s a great time to take up a hobby or make a change in your career, as you are still young and have the time to do so. I am so happy I went with option number 2, because now I look at being 40 in a whole new light.

I make a point of working out 4 times a week – I even tried running, however that didn’t really pan out. My husband and I have done a couple of weekend trips including Vegas when I turned 40 – LOVED THAT ONE! Speaking of which, it’s time to get “romantic” again with the hubby and maybe throw in a “date night” here and there. My parents take the kids every Monday night, which gives us time to ourselves – usually that involves a little “wachickawawa” in the bedroom, followed by a nice walk and then either dinner at home or in the hood. It really has brought us back together as a couple instead of just a “mom and dad”.

I am also thankful for a great group of girlfriends that I can get together with and have fun, whether it be going to a movie, shopping, to a restaurant or bar – even had a couple of “girls” weekends which were quite memorable indeed. But that’s another story!

I find when I am happy everyone else is happy too. So, the moral of this blog is not to dread turning 40 and if you’re there already – embrace it because it is a special time in your life that won’t be coming around again!!

For further inspiration and your opportunity to meet some wonderful people who have chosen option 2 – please join us at

Now go get your 40’s on!!


It’s Working..Now It’s your turn

According to a survey from 2010 around 10 million couples in the United States met online. That means it’s working. More and more people are turning to the Internet and Internet dating sites to find love. In fact, you are more like to meet that girl or guy of your dreams on a dating site than the traditional places we once turned to to meet a partner.

With so many sites to choose from what site is right for you? Try a tried and trusted site with all the bells and whistles like It’s a site for Singles with search for area and regions.Singles ready to start dating in the modern era. It’s hot. It’s fast.Online dating for Singles who are ready to start their love story.

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