I would like to introduce you to a new Blog that I’ve read for a while now. I’ve read the post from this talented writer and watched her slowly turn the corner from bitter to hopeful. This post is dedicated to the men and women who find themselves starting over at 40, single, and wondering if things will ever be okay again.
witnessing the shift
I am in a completely different place than I’ve ever been before: I feel empowered, strong and clear in a way that I probably haven’t ever before in my life.
Let me explain…
I’ve been using creative visualization, conscious intent, meditation and gratitude to heal my heart, transform my energy and get my head on straight. And, despite my deep desire for partnership, I am finally un-stuck to the outcome. In other words, I’m detached. I’ve set my intent, asked the universe to deliver and let go of the need to control how things manifest.
As it relates to dating, here’s how this shift has affected my mindset:
- I’ve started to enjoy dating. I go out to meet people and practice leaning back in to my feminine energy. I know that the universe has a spectacular sense of humor, so I just open myself to where the experience might go. I’m laughing about that guy I’ve seen twice who keeps finding ways to tell me that there’s no chance for romance between us…but then wants to see me again. Whatever!
- I trust that I’ve attracted people into my life for a reason. I stay attuned to whatever that lesson or gift might be.
- I may offer or suggest, but I won’t chase. I may lead or invite, but I don’t make the first move. I let him manage the accelerator; I’ll be ready to brake, if necessary.
- I shrug off rejection. His loss. He’s doing me a favor by opting out early. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone I had to convince to like me. And I’ll take whatever gift or lesson I might have learned from the experience. As a good friend wisely said, “When a woman chases men, she always catches the weak ones first.”
- I enter situations with no expectations. I’d rather enjoy the surprise. Besides, if a man thinks he has nothing to offer me…well, then, he clearly doesn’t.
- I’m flirting with all kinds of men and women in all kinds of situations. I like to flirt; I feel good, and it makes others feel good. It keeps me in touch with my pleasure center.
- I say “yes” more often. I ask for help and accept it. I’m open to support.
- I’m saying “no” to distractions to what I want. As much as my 40-year-old libido would love some satisfaction, I’m just not interested without the rewards of emotional intimacy. I’m holding out for a loving relationship.
- That said, I’m done looking for love. Instead, I’ve decided to BE love! That way, my equal can find me.
- I know the right man for me will be strong, masculine and forgiving. And, most of all, he will demonstrate through action that he truly and deeply wants to make me happy.
- I am deeply grateful for all the masculine attention I receive. It’s wonderful to notice others appreciating me!
failedatforty is a divorced and dating homeowner, breadwinner and single mother in the midwest. She divorced, turned 40 and quit her corporate job all within a 10-month stretch. Her blog recounts a journey of healing, self-help and starting to date again with poignancy, introspection and wit. Follow her at www.failedatforty.com or on Twitter, @failedatforty.
This post was originally posted on failed at forty Please drop by and cheer her on.
Thanks @failedatforty for sharing you trials and stories with us. I’m over here at DatingDivaSites.com cheering you on!