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Dating Online~First Impressions Count Here Too

Online Dating: First Impressions Count Here Too

By Mary Tice on Commentarista

In a world where everyone is connected via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and more, online dating seems like the best thing since the singles bar. But in a world full of character limits and characterless profiles, how do you make a connection with someone without using old one-liners?

These are actual emails I have received in the last month as a single female using a free online dating site. I have received numerous more in the past, but I will focus on the most current. For the most part, I (like most women I know) ignore them, but occasionally I feel the need to lend a hand to the poor souls who think these lines actually work.

“Is your name Summer? Because your hot as hell.”

Rule #1. If you are trying to make a great first impression, please use proper English and grammar. Smart women like men who know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I know it takes up two additional characters to add in the apostrophe and “e,” but please, proofread and type as though you attended grade school.

“id love 2 get 2 kno u if u wouldnt object 2 that”

Rule #2. Go back and read Rule #1 again, then add the ability to form full words. (My exact response: “Don’t take this the wrong way as I am sure you are a very nice person, but your message is written like something my 14-year old cousin would send me and it’s not impressive. Sorry.”)

“You with all dim curves and me with no brakes”

Hmm. So you are telling me you are a car? Or that you never get any rest? Ohhhh, I get it, it’s another bad one-liner and you think I will hop into bed with you right now. And BTW, FYI, the only dim thing is your wit.

“You got any sugar for this daddy?”

This came from an older gentleman (and by older I mean he could pass as my grandpa). Now I have dated older men, and by older I mean ten years older (as I am in my twenties). But really, if I can pass as your daughter or granddaughter, I have no desire to date you. Unless you give me cash up front with no touching involved. Ever.

“Be honest. You want me”

Did I email you? No. So I think that what you mean is that you want me. Come on, be honest. Besides, why would I want you when your profile picture is something reminiscent of MySpace glory days? Put a shirt on, get out of your bathroom and keep your hand out of your waistband when you take a photo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can consider finding your way to a decent pick-up line.

“Hello”

Now this isn’t bad writing, it just isn’t enough writing. I appreciate that you decided to send me a message, but at least tell me why you wanted to talk to me. Am I pretty? Are you rich? Did I win a prize? Do I want you? I would almost prefer a bad pick-up line over a simple “hello.” Because in this case the only response you will get back from me is “hello,” and that is only if I bother replying.

Let me show you a good online introduction: “Hi. I’m a 20/30/40-something single guy who thinks you are beautiful and smart, and I would love to meet you for a drink to see if we connect.” Now guys, isn’t that so much more appealing? You haven’t wasted anymore effort in the process and women will be more eager to respond.

Online dating isn’t as hard as it seems. But like most things in life, it takes some effort. People think that because you are hidden behind a computer screen, manners, grammar and common sense mean nothing. Before writing your next email to a potential date, ask yourself if the first impression you will be making is worthwhile or not?

StopwaitingStartDating

Online Dating Advice For Women~ The Dishy One

Another great one from the up and coming Blogger Dishy Divorcee. I adore this lady and her blog.

Crap I can’t make up: red flags to on-line dating

Ladies, take a deep breath. I’m about to let you in on a little secret. The hottie with the user name CupidCasanova in NYC – DOES NOT EXIST. I know, at first glance, your self-esteem likely sky rocketed when the message popped up: “he’s interested!” You’ve been misled. One of two things is probably happening: 1, his greasy sausage fingers are mousing over your image while he touches himself inappropriately or 2, he is a desperate, 60-year-old agoraphobic playing a big, fat joke on single ladies across America.

Drunk & Dating

Another red flag in online dating is the guy who showcases his drinking agility in 10 out of 12 profile pictures. The threshold to his dating interests stop at beer bongs, night clubs, and the probability of getting laid. Sure, it’s nice to know that he has fun with friends and can hold-down a 1.25 liter of Smirnoff, but is vomiting nightly and waking up with your underwear on backwards the way you want to spend your single days? Oh, another clue, this moderate drinker’s favorite pastimes include the gym, hangin’ at a local cigar shop and several 3-day trips to Las Vegas.

Red flag number 3: the man who gets carried away in the “I’m looking for” segment. Recently, I read an actual profile that stated the following:

[ I want a woman who can multitask, a BFF that to confide in & let my guard down totally with. 2. I want a mother to take care of me… 3. I want a seductress or tramp depending on the mood. I want to be wanted & not have to ask for it. 4. Finally, I want a devoted secretary that is there to help whatever the situation & can do it without losing respect in me. I could go on & on like this for pages. What do I pray for? I want a woman who will love me, for who I am.]

He started off on the right track, but then it all went terribly wrong. Did he really use the word secretary? Good luck with that!

Just keepin’ it real,

XXOO Dishy

Advice For Men ~Dishy’s telling it!

Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…

Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”

Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.

The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.

A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.

The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.

And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.

Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.

– XXOO

Dishy Divorcee

Advice For Men ~Dishy's telling it!

Another post from that great Blogger and Twitter friend Dishy Divorcee…

Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”

Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.

The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.

A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.

The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.

And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.

Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.

– XXOO

Dishy Divorcee

Free Online Dating Seminar With Dating Diva And Meet Juliet

Online dating has gone from a taboo, to a natural part of our single lifestyles. But for some, it still hasn’t brought them the results that they anticipated. It is the profile? The picture? Are you saying too much or too little? All of these are questions that any digital dater has asked and needed an answer to.

Then there is no place else you should be on Sunday, June 12th at 8:00 p.m. CST.

We’re sitting down for another chat with DatingDivaSites.com. Our resident “Dating Diva” will spill and dish on the key elements of making online dating site work for you, and she should know, she works and has worked with more than 20 sites–this means she’s an expert. In addition to making it work, she’s going to teach you a bit about online safety–after all, we want you to be single and safe.

Ok, so now you have the details…so register and tell a few friends!

So, here we go again, and if you missed Volume I: Where Ya At, don’t make the same mistake TWICE!

In the meanwhile, visit:

www.whatthelove.org and www.datingdivasites.com
AND to submit a question prior to the event, click Contact WTL on the WhatTheLove.org site.

ALL TIMES CENTRAL STANDARD TIME.

**This event will be recorded, and made available to all registrants (sometimes people register, but don’t make the call. It will not be available for public download.***

To register follow the link http://computerlovin.eventbrite.com/

Are You in a Bad Romance?

 

Are you in a bad romance? Does it take more work to keep it going than it should? Love is about being happy and sharing a feeling and a bond. If you are in a bad romance maybe it’s time to move on. Some people stay in a bad relationship because being along seems worse than this ugly situation.

Is a bad romance better than no romance? The only person that can decide what’s best for you is you.
Are you addicted to bad romance? Some people get in relationships with a person they know has issues because they think they can change them and be the hero or heroine to this person for life. It works in the movies and books right? A diamond in the rough partner. I will fix them and they will be grateful and love me forever. This rarely works my friends.

 How about this time you look for the diamond that’s not so rough. How about trying a romance that’s simple to stay in. No drama…boring you say. You deserve the best partner you can find and I bet you can do better than a bad romance. It can’t hurt to try and who knows you might like it. 🙂

More than Ever Online dating is Booming

1 in 5 people meet in an online dating site according to research done on marriage and dating trends. What about Facebook since it’s free doesn’t that mean that online dating memberships have suffered? well just the opposite is true according to a recent article On CNBC. People socialize with people they already know on Facebook but go to online dating site to meet someone new. The use of smartphones also has increased the use of dating sites since people can use a dating site almost anywhere now.

Have you joined an online dating site yet? You can join free today and be part of what’s happening in dating now. Try ContemporaryDates.com it’s a general singles sites. if you want to get a site that specializes we have those too. BBWDatingNow.com is just what it sounds like a BBW dating site for big beautiful women and their admirers. If you want to date a particular type of single we have it. browse our community links and see what we have.

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